Survivor Cagayan: Ep1: Yes... All the Rice...

What a fun Survivor premiere! I’ve already given some of my thoughts on the first two episodes of Survivor Cagayan Brains vs. Beauty vs. Brawn… Could that name BE any longer? Really, though. It’s ridiculous. Anyway, I’ve already talked about the premiere a bit and if you’re reading this, you should definitely be watching the Your Reality Recaps live shows, even if you can only watch the edited, and unedited, versions later. Don’t forget to “like” and subscribe on YoutTube and if you really like the content your seeing, you should help the Kickstarter to send our hosts to Reality Rally, which you can do by following this link: Your Reality Recaps Kickstarter!

Let’s get to it! After the obligatory introduction of the tribes everyone takes a place on their mats and Jeff welcomes the players to the game. While they are separated, no one knows what kind of “B” they are yet and Jeff asks Morgan of the Beauty tribe which “B” she thinks she is – obviously she’s a “Beauty”, right? Jeff moves over to the Brains tribe and asks Spencer the same question, he knows his place in the game as well because look at Cliff and the other muscle over in the Brawn tribe! Kind of a boring way start things off, why not mix up the tribes then shuffle them into the right order after Jeff calls them to the starting mats? That would have really thrown people for a loop; especially since this opening was chock full of twists - why not throw in one more?

The twists I’m talking about are the choosing of a tribe leader, that leader having to turn around and choose another tribe member as the weakest, those three deemed the weakest given a ride to camp while the others hike and upon arriving to their camps, the weakest players have to choose between a tribe reward or a clue to a hidden Immunity Idol. Long sentence, I know, but Survivor is hitting the ground running this season so it’s only fitting that I use a run-on sentence to break down the beginning twists of the season.

Let’s start with the Beauties. LJ chosen as the leader of the tribe and he chooses Morgan as the weakest, but in reality he is threatened by her hotness and rightfully so. If you’ve read about Morgan in my cast preview or at the CBS website, you know she’s poised and ready to play. On the Brawn tribe, Trish explains that Sarah’s confidence will make her a good leader for their tribe then Sarah turns right around and picks out Trish as the weakest player. What a terrible way to start the game – making an enemy of someone who would have been an ally. Finally, the Brains are convinced that David’s blazer, (no Twitter account created for it…yet), makes him the leader of the tribe and he strategically taps Garrett’s shoulder to mark him the weakest player.

So yada, yada, yada… Garrett easily finds his Immunity Idol before his tribe finds their way to the Brains camp. Trish wants to look for the Idol, but she’s conflicted because she’s a team player and ultimately chooses to help her tribe instead of find herself some safety. Not a smart move! You always take an advantage when you’re offered one in a reality competition show. Morgan’s decision is also easy, she’s looking for the Idol and while she’s gone, the rest of the tribe shows up at the Beauty camp. When she returns from a failed attempt at finding hidden Immunity, she does a great job of covering her tracks, but LJ is suspicious because he knows better, because they are playing Survivor, because Morgan was left alone at camp as the weakest tribe member, and duh, of course there is a hidden Immunity Idol, and of course she was given a crack at finding it.

So, the Beauties are the only tribe that seem to have it together before the Immunity Challenge; they’ve got fire, they are working together to build their shelter – good for them! The Brawns are on it as far as shelter is concerned, but I didn’t see anyone trying to make fire – you can get my thoughts on that in the Survivor recap with Eric and Missy here. You can also hear what I think of Tony not telling Sarah that he’s a cop… In the Brains camp, J’Tia takes the reigns for building a shelter, she has it all planned out; however, things do not go so well with the execution of her design. When Tasha tests out the balance, all of their work collapses.

Immunity Challenge 1: As a very studious viewer of Survivor challenges, the first one is pretty typical of the first leg of the game. There is always a physical element that encourages teamwork and a puzzle at the end to round out the competition. The first challenge in Survivor BBB does not stray from a formula that works and we probably won’t see a change up until episode four or five, especially if we see a tribe switch before the merge, which I’m sure we will. All of this has been chatter because it was pretty obvious early on that the Brains were going to lose this one, they couldn’t even keep their puzzle pieces in their chests! It is surprising that the Beauties came in first, though! <wink>

Since they lost the challenge, the focus is all up in the Brains camp for the rest of the episode. David wants to get rid of Garrett, but Kass wants to get rid of J’Tia and isn’t shy about telling her that it’s because she doesn’t pull her weight around camp. When Tasha approaches, J’Tia lets her know what’s up then Garrett joins the party and he tells them that he would rather get rid of David since he’s a bigger threat. Garrett’s going to have a little chat with Spencer before Tribal Council… But first… Here’s some freakin’ SPIDERS! Come on, guys… I have arachnophobia and I’m tired of my nightmares flashing through my mind every time you nature shot it to spiders… You’ve got to stop. I can handle the snakes, but cool it with the eight-legged freaks.

Tribal Council 1: The Brains arrive at the Tribal Council area, light their torches and settle into place, well, Garrett tries, but he doesn’t do so well with spiders either! Once the offending arachnid has been swept away, Tribal begins. J’Tia immediately tosses herself onto the fire pit to be grilled by Jeff because she knows that Jeff knows that she knows she’s on the chopping block. Jeff proves that he knows what’s going on back at camp by addressing David next. For the rest of Tribal Council, David, J’Tia and Garrett are the center of Jeff’s attention and all are trying to swat the attention away from them until Jeff announces that it’s time to vote. And hashtag blindside! First episode! David is called by Jeff to have his torch snuffed and the President of the Miami Marlins... is... outta here!

The Survivor action isn’t over yet, though, because premiere night is a double header – two episodes! After David gives us the yada, yada, yada about being voted out we dive into more Survivor action. At the Brains camp, Garrett is not having any fun playing Survivor. He doesn’t want play Survivor to survive, he wants to out-wit and manipulate people like he does around the table as a professional poker player. Boo! Hiss! Ugh! THIS GUY! Seriously, why are dudes like this cast on Survivor? Surviving in the wilderness is part of the game, Garrett, that’s why it’s called Survivor. Anyway, Garrett speaks with Spencer and they feel comfortable where they are in the game; Kass is in the minority and J’Tia will always be an easy vote. Kass doesn’t feel quite as secure, but knows that she is the swing vote between the boys and girls and she doesn’t know where to put her loyalty.

Cliff and Woo are becoming fast friends over on the Brawn tribe. If you keep up with my blog and if you’ve watched the recap show you know that Woo is my pick to win it all and I think that this Woo Tang Clan, which is what I’m calling them from now on, could go far together. Just not in a boat that they have to paddle.

See? Just because I don’t like that Cliff was cast, doesn’t mean I don’t like him! And guess who is threatened by him? Sarah and Tony! Everyone else just loves Cliff so I think that the Woo Tang Clan is safe for now. Plus, it’s not like the Brawns are going to have trouble winning Immunity for awhile, especially since there are two Immunity spots to claim. It’s also not like they have a lot of competition. The Brains are down a member and have already blindsided someone off the island so – trouble in paradise there. At the Beauty camp people don’t even know how to open a coconut with a machete safely, or don’t want to speak up as the “smart” one.

Bryce is pretty tired of all the fakeness too. Bryce is hip to Alexis’ game of playing dumb and flirting with the guys, but he’s pretty sure Jefra isn’t playing with a full deck. Jeremiah and Morgan’s bond doesn’t sit well with Bryce either, but he’s not above forming a loose alliance with them; country folk have to stick together. And things are not looking good for Trish and Lindsey back in the Brawny camp. Something about firewood? It may or may not matter and either way, we’re jumping to the challenge. I don’t care about Tony’s hashtag Spy Shack. That’s some Phillip madness right there.

Immunity Challenge 2: (with fishing reward): Another classic challenge for the beginning of the season. Teamwork required with lots of stuff to do in the water and a puzzle to round out the competition. Jeff is quick to point out who the slow swimmers are and how quickly folks are climbing up the bamboo structure; they cannot dive to untie their puzzle piece containers until everyone is together inside. Maybe I missed something, but I don’t know why everyone wasn’t diving down to untie knots, but before you know it, the Brains and the Brawn are back on the beach working on the puzzle. Sarah has cut her finger and it’s bleeding, but she is working quickly on the puzzle for the Brawns. J’Tia is the puzzle solver for the Brains and she is not having as much luck. When Sarah is about half way through, LJ begins to work on the puzzle for the Brains, but within minutes, Sarah is finished. Brawn wins the first Immunity Idol. LJ is making swift progress and it’s not long before he places the final piece; the Brains will be off to Tribal again.

When they get back to camp, the Brawn tribe is all high spirits and Tony is on the hunt for an Idol clue. Reward basket in hand, Tony finds a quiet spot and locates a piece of paper in one of the containers – Yup! Tony found an idol clue and he thinks he knows where it is. Dashing off to the pond behind their camp, Tony quickly spots the markers from the clue, dives in the water and fishes out Immunity. From his reaction, you’d think Golem had just found his Precious.

On Brainy Beach, Garrett leads the charge in discussing who is going to be voted off the island; Garrett thinks that by instigating a conversation of this nature that Kass will show who she’s loyal to in the game. Kass is all about J’Tia again because she doesn’t contribute at camp or in the challenges; Spencer and Garrett agree. When Tasha doesn’t want to discuss her thoughts in front of the group, Garrett is annoyed. Garrett wants everyone to sit together until Tribal and not run off to have private conversations, which frustrates Tasha – and me! Didn’t we just hear Garrett whining about wanting to play the game? So now that they’ve lost the challenge and that he’s out numbered by the girls he just wants to sit around? What a … Really, though… This guy! What a piece of work. Spencer agrees with me – Garrett is a Class A Moron.

Tasha and Kass find some time to talk on the beach, though, and Tasha makes an emotional plea, promising that they will get rid of J’Tia the next time, but right now the girls have the numbers. Before they can further discuss the votes, Garrett and Spencer join them; Kass is immediately concerned because they’ve left an unstable nuclear reactor unsupervised – J’Tia is alone at camp. Garret doesn’t know why she’s anxious, there is nothing to be worried about, there are no shenanigans back at camp, J’Tia is fine; he doesn’t want his group of four to be separated. His paranoia is misplaced in this instance because back at camp the meltdown alarms are sounding as J’Tia dumps all of the tribe’s rice into the fire! Then she tries to act like she doesn’t know what happened when everyone knows what happened.

Tribal Council 2: “Noticing” that the Brains look upset, Jeff questions Spencer on what happened and everyone on the tribe “fills Jeff in” on what has been going on at camp. Clearly, everyone is annoyed that J’Tia dumped all the rice into the fire, but clearly everyone is also annoyed that Garrett’s paranoia won’t let them play the game. Trying to defend himself against Tasha’s allegations that he is stifling her game, he let’s everyone know that he thinks he’s in an alliance with Spencer and Kass. Jeff asks if he has it right, that J’Tia and Tasha are on the outs of that J’Tia is going home and Garrett says he doesn’t see it that way… And round and round he goes, this Garrett person who is supposedly a Brain, until it’s time to vote. And when the votes are in we have another hashtag blindside!

So your eye candy is gone, ladies (and gentlemen) and I say good riddance! Garrett definitely wasn’t qualified to be on the Brains tribe and he definitely should not have been cast for this show. All he did was whine and complain and you just know that Garrett is the kid that flipped the Monopoly board when he knew he wasn’t going to win. Maybe now the Brains can operate at maximum capacity to, I don’t know, win an Immunity Challenge before the tribes are switched up, maybe?

Survivor airs on CBS on Wednesdays at 8pm Eastern, 7pm Central. Don’t forget to tune in next week when this season’s players learn that they are not playing “Survivor Lite”. Because it looks like it’s going to rain. A lot. Until next time, may your torch burn bright and your rice stay dry, but not too dry, like, when someone dumps all of it into the fire. Oh yeah... One more thing...