Speed Survivor: What Could Have Been...

In March of 2012 I got it into my head that I was going to organize a fundraiser: Speed Survivor. I wanted to hold it this summer (2014), but that’s not going to happen now. I don’t want all my hard work to be in vain so here is everything I have.

What It Is: A full season of Survivor played out over five days and four nights complete with filming and online episodes, taking place at Lake Wabaunsee, the “Gem of the Flint Hills”, located five miles from Eskridge, Eskridge the “Gateway to the Flint Hills” along the Native Stone Scenic Byway between Dover and Alma, Kansas.

How It Works: Potential players will raise donations from people will that will sponsor them as a player in a game of “Speed Survivor”. The sixteen people who raise the most money from their sponsors will be invited to Lake Wabaunsee during the chosen dates, two additional players will be selected by an online sponsorship drive from the players in the 17-24 spots on the most donations raised list. All players will also participate in a live reunion show at The Buffalo Inn’s Eskridge Labor Day Weekend Rodeo Street Dance where the winner will be announced with live music to follow.

To Be Eligible: Players must be 21 and older, raise at least $500 in donations and meet the requirements as outlined in the Player Agreement Form.

(I had a lawyer willing to help me with legal stuff for free, I had permission to use the public property at the lake and probably would have gotten permission to use the golf course for challenges as well – The bed and breakfast owner was not responsive to my emails about housing the jury and using their property to film exit interviews and act as my “Ponderosa”).

Now let me show you around the lake. Let’s just start with the most impressive site: Tribal Council.

I mean, just look at that – Can’t you just see it all lit up with torches at night? The picture below is of what where my production area would have been set up – conveniently located just 50 or so feet from Tribal Council and the restaurant and bar at the lake.

The next pictures are of the swimming beach, which needed some work, then it received some attention – that I didn’t even have to request the City Council do, they just did it, but… They didn’t fix the real problem. Before:

After: The lack of rain in the summer of 2012 brought the lake water level way down so the concrete barrier was ripped out and the beach was “extended”… Until the rain came again and now the beach is the exact same as it always was, but now the sand washes back into the lake and will have to be replaced every summer.

Camp Areas: I had three picked out, (one campsite would have been used - more economical), two close to the swimming beach, which is close to the Tribal Council area. The first was an actual campsite, the second was an old boy scout camp site. The third campsite was a mostly isolated patch of land between housing areas and a short walk from the golf course, but would have required boats for tribes to travel to Tribal Council.

Old Boy Scout Camp Entrance

Campsite Three Entrance

Oh! You know what I have! A map!

Now let’s get to these challenges! While I have most of the challenges planned out in my head, only about half of them are outlined in my production schedule. I really needed help with challenge production; I was having trouble deciding when to do which challenge, how many double Tribal Councils was too many, if I should do Survivor Classic or roll with an Outcast Tribe so everyone would get to play for more than two days… I needed a co-producer. Here is one version, the Survivor Classic version.

Challenge 1: Buffalo Testicle Eating
Reward: Immunity & Sleeping Gear

This should be pretty self-explanatory. Tribes go head-to-head, each player has to eat a portion of buffalo testicle (my friend’s dad raises them at a farm just outside of town) to score a point. If there is a tie, a timed round is played.

Challenge 2: Shelter Building
Reward: Immunity & Shelter

Callers guide blindfolded and bound tribe mates to bundles of tent-building components; once collected Builders must correctly assemble with help from the Caller who has the instructions. Once built, the tent must be disassembled and repacked then the entire tribe must run back to the starting mat to win. Reward: The tent and a tarp.

Challenge 3: Endurance Tag
Reward: Pizza/Beer Dinner & Bonus Options

Tribe mates are bound clipped to a rope and must carry two 10 pound sandbags around a course; players can drop out at any time, but another tribe mate must carry their sandbags. First tribe to tag the other wins. Bonus Reward Options: Tent/Tarp, Sleeping Gear, Flint, Bonus Rations *** Double Tribal Council ***

Challenge 4: Untie Your Knots
Reward: Immunity/Tribe Breakfast

Phase One: The night before the actual challenge, each tribe is given a locked box containing the other tribe’s flag, a bag of assorted lengths of rope and instructions to use the provided materials to make the box as impenetrable as possible.

Phase Two: After freeing the box from the ropes, it must be carried down the course to stations where a picture puzzle on the box will reveal the number codes to unlock two padlocks on the box; once the flag has been freed, the entire tribe must run to the finish mat with the flag to win.

Challenge 5: Chain Gang
Reward: Immunity/Challenge Advantage

Tribe members are bound together with padlocked chains and must work together to unlock themselves at different stations around a course; once a tribe member is freed, they must run back ahead to the tribe flag; when all tribe members are unlocked and at the flag, they must run back to the starting mat with the flag to win the challenge.

Challenge 6: Wabaunsee Pines Putt-Putt
Reward: Immunity/Tribe Lunch

Players must putt all nine holes of the Wabaunsee Pines golf course; each player must putt once then it’s a “free-for-all” putt. Advantage Won from Last Challenge: Automatic Hole-In-One; cannot be used on the last hole. Lowest score wins.

Challenge 7: Stack It
Reward: Individual Immunity/Dinner for Two

At the host’s discretion, players will have to stack coins on a small pedestal that they must hold with one hand while balancing on a block. In intervals, the players will add more coins until the host is satisfied then the endurance test begins; last person from each tribe standing wins Immunity and Reward.

And… That’s the Merge. It’s the Individual Immunity challenges that I really needed help to organize, but I pretty much know what they are. There was a trivia challenge that would take place AT Tribal Council immediately following a vote out, a Story-telling challenge where the players would have to answer questions to collect tokens, the second chance challenge – the compilation of previous challenges, and of course, the final three endurance challenge. Speed Survivor, of course, is a Final Two – Not a lame Final Three. Speed Survivor would have NEVER had a Final Three. NEVER!

So... That's what I have to share with you about Speed Survivor. I have half of a production schedule written up with specific directions and times for setting up and tearing down challenges. I've put so much thought into this. I mean, I have website graphics made! I created that logo! It took hours and hours and hours. If anyone out there wants to help me make this happen sometime in the future, I have a lot more plans laid out than just the game. I have a strategy to gain sponsors to help pay for materials, food, etc. I know people that have facilities and connections. I COULD HAVE MADE THIS HAPPEN THIS SUMMER. I just knew it would be very difficult to gain the support of local businesses and community members, but THAT is a whole other story...

A Final Very Open Letter to the TBS Executives in Charge of Renewing King of the Nerds

Okay, TBS, I’m really hoping that this third time is the charm with you. At this point in time, in this struggle that the Nerd Army faces, this great battle to ensure that you renew King of the Nerds… Despite the fading morale of some, my optimism is unending and I refuse to go gently into that good night. I will not give up. I will never surrender. I’m pulling out my bag of tricks, rolling up my sleeves and the gloves are coming off – it’s time to fight this fight bare-knuckled.

One: King of the Nerds is a show that our society needs! There are so many more nerds and geeks out there that feel all alone, isolated, ridiculed, etc. The Nerd Army is here for them, but there is only so much we can do to promote the awesomeness that is the Nerd. We need the show to reach a larger audience – and so do you – Some nerds are turned off by the commercials and think that the show is making fun of them. Everyone who watches the show knows this isn’t true, but you’re making it very hard for casting to find the types of nerds you’re looking for by how the show has been portrayed in your commercials. I’ve heard this first hand from a member of the Nerd Army who works in a comic book store and spent a whole day talking to customers about King of the Nerds – Every single person who said they didn’t watch the show, gave that reason. He talked to over 50 people that day and none of them watched King of the Nerds. I wish I had Jack here to help me with the math and statistics, but by my estimation, your viewers would double if people weren’t so turned off by the ads for the show. I don’t know who is in charge of those commercials, but they need to be more nerd-friendly and less oriented on pulling in the viewers who want to see the typical reality TV drama. Don’t worry about pulling in those viewers: I got your back and I’ve got good connections. Why do you think I wanted to get Spencer and McCrae from Big Brother 15 involved in my interviews of the season two cast members? And why haven’t we seen Kayla on Conan O’Brien yet? SHE WAS CROWNED KING and Celeste was on the show last year…. And Jack should really be booked for Jimmy Fallon with Kelsey.

Two: You should have been looking for a season three cast immediately following the finale. I don’t have cable, because I don’t have an actual job right now, but are you even airing commercials to promote the casting call or are you that scared to spend some money? I really should have listened to my instincts the day the casting call was announced. I had such a great idea, but I was told to only do what I was asked to do and out of respect for the people involved, I didn’t implement it. It’s probably too late now, but I’m still going to try and no one knows I’m doing this and I don’t care! I’ll apologize later instead of asking for permission because desperate times call for desperate measures and I think we’re in the desperate times segment of this whole situation.

Three: Operation Desperate Times: I made a printable flyer. The quality won’t be the best because I don’t have a high resolution file of the image that casting used, but it’ll do. I want EVERYONE WHO CARES ABOUT THIS SHOW to print off the flyer, make some copies and post them wherever nerds flock, and even the places you wouldn’t expect to find nerds. Please ask for permission before you post these flyers – most shop owners and business will be more than happy, but some do have policies so it’s best to ask. Focus on comic book shops, game stores, book stores, libraries, hobby shops, etc. Any kind of business that you think nerds would patronize – flyer it up! I feel like we’re running short on time and I don’t want to mess with finding a new network to pick up the show so I really need everyone in the Nerd Army to step it up. You say you love the show? Prove it. Tweet me pictures of you posting these flyers all around your towns. Any copy place can make black and white copies of the flyer and they won’t cost a lot, barely $10 for 20 copies. My Twitter is @thedolphinpoet. If the poster below doesn't work right for some reason, email me at dolphinpoetmelissa@yahoo.com and I'll email you back with a PDF file.