After another toast to their fallen comrade, all of the
contestants, (except Katie, who must have been in the Diary Room), have sat
down to eat dinner and as soon as Zack excuses himself from the room, Chris is
the first one to address the group. What the heck? Why can they not get rid of
this guy?! Jack admits that Zack is the man, but wishes he could channel all of
that energy into helping Midas Touch Attack win Nerd Wars instead of using it
all on himself in Nerd Offs. The Titans of Rigel have Jack to themselves and
Kayla questions him on what kind of impact Nicole’s exit from the game will
have on Zack since they were friends. Jack says that all Zack wants to do is
win so if they are willing to take one for the “team” and throw a Nerd War...
When Curtis calls all nerds to the courtyard I am
immediately disappointed because he and Bobby have suited up and not in the
funny way. Thanks, guys, for not giving me hilarious costumes to comment on
this week. Wouldn’t it have been more fun to see them dressed up as Yoda
and Spock? Because this week’s Nerd War is the 1st Annual, (not the
second annual because that indicates that you are doing something annually for
a second time, thus making it the third time the event has been held and we are
only on season two of King of the Nerds – you can thank my high school Advanced
English teacher, Mr. Cound for that clarification, he was a stickler for
grammar and word usage), King of the Nerds Debate. This year’s topic: Star Wars
vs. Star Trek. So, yeah, some costumes could have come in to play even this
week, gentlemen, and I think the rest of the fans agree that it is one of the
highlights of the show each week. Am I right?
Zack wins Rock, Paper, Scissors for the third time in a row; MTA will is awarded the choice of which world to support. On the purple side, everyone is hoping for Star Trek because the majority of the team is Trek fans, the gold team is leaning towards Star Wars for the same reason. This is where the hand of Midas makes a mistake because while they feel more comfortable with Wars and choose it, they had a good idea that the Titans felt the same way about Trek. A better strategy would have been choosing Trek to transport the Titans out of their element. Sure, it’s a risk, but it would have been a risk worth taking. It’s more challenging and a bold strategic move if executed well. It also would have made for great TV because of the resentment the Titans most assuredly would have felt towards MTA.
This Nerd War will be played out in three rounds with three
different topics: 1) The Empire in Star Wars is a more dangerous adversary than
the Borg in Star Trek, 2) Star Trek’s USS Enterprise would beat the Millennium
Falcon in a dogfight and 3) The Star Wars universe is better than the Star Trek
universe.
Chris of the Titans is pumped for this Nerd War because he a
master debater, but Kayla is nervous. She hates debate and even though she’s
got the most Star Trek knowledge of all of her team mates, Kayla is worried
that instead of being an asset she will be a liability. One member of the team
must sit out and Xander happily agrees to wear his red shirt proudly from the
bench because he knows less about Star Trek than he knows about… … Ya know
what? I’m not going to make the joke I was going to make here, but I want you
to know that it was very inappropriate and involved another word for “cat”.
Oops! Guess that pretty much gives it away! Love you, Xander!
Katie is also confident in her debating skills and Zack’s
not feeling too bad about his abilities either then Jack drops a bomb: Jack
doesn’t watch either Star Wars or Star Trek and has less knowledge about both
than Xander does about… Well, you know. So what’s the most logical thing for
Midas Touch Attack to do? Why not give Jack the most important topic of the
debate! Yeah, that seems like a great idea! He doesn’t know anything about
either universe so he will be able to tackle the topic from a completely
objective view point! I’m actually only being half sarcastic here. In theory, Jack
would be the best person for the final topic because he’s unbiased, but he’s
supposed to be arguing in favor of Star Wars – this isn’t an outlet to voice
opinions based on statistics, it's about the passion. The third round is the most important round and
the best choice for the final leg of the debate would have been Katie since she
loves Star Wars, but I’m getting ahead of myself…Oh well, let’s just go there.
To the “not an empty seat in the house” auditorium!
Once all of the nerds have settled into their chairs on stage, looking very sharp in their blazers and team colored polo shirts, Curtis introduces the judges. Up first is returning debate judge, Gordon Stables, head of USC Debate and Forensics. The second judge is comedian and host of Uber Nerdy Podcast’s The Indoor Kids, Kumail Nanjiani and finally, the third judge of this nerdy debate is Lando Calrissian himself, (from Star Wars, duh), Billy D. Williams. Jack isn’t familiar with any of the judges.
Kayla and Katie will be taking a stand behind the podiums in
the first round; Kayla is defending the argument that the Enterprise would beat the Millennium Falcon
in a dogfight and she will face the judges first. Kayla will be using the
Enterprise D, a lot of fictional technical terms that confuse Kumail and a good
dose of humor in her presentation. Katie counters with an equal dose of humor
while delivering sound logic and statistics at warp speed. After a little back
and forth with the judges, Kumail announces that Katie is the winner, giving
Midas Touch Attack the first point. Kayla is certain that she will be kicked
out of all her Star Trek clubs when she gets home.
Next up, Chris and Zack will be discussing the dangers of
the Empire and the Borg. Zack begins the round and completely fails to mention
that in addition to being a villainous group that people all over the universe
actually want to be a part of, and that they have a lot more fire power, they
also have support of the force-wielding power of Sith Lords! Come on, Zack!
You’re in the Star Wars universe and you forget to use the Force?! Blowing up
Alderaan pales in comparison to how dangerous Sith Force powers are! Do I even
need to recap what Chris said in his rebuttal for anyone? Was his defining of
the word “dangerous” even relevant? Maybe I do for Jack, but I would think that
most people reading this blog know that you don’t mess with Darth Vader because he'll get cha! This
point goes to the Titans of Rigel in my books and in the judge’s books as well.
In the final round Brian and Jack are taking on the topic of
which universe is better and Jack still doesn’t know what an Ewok is… And Jack
is up first! What Jack does right in his argument to support that Star Wars is
a better universe is use the gifts his momma gave him. Jack uses statistics;
Curtis and Bobby approve and the judges are equally impressed with his numbers, but...
Brian will be using… <sigh>… I don’t know who this guy is that he
mentions (some nerd I am, huh - I'll google it and provide a footnote at the end), but
his argument is based on that guy’s idea that science fiction should be
a “realistic speculation about possible future events”. Star Trek definitely has that!
Even Xander agrees. From future gadgets to modern day social ethics questions,
Star Trek has it all as far as speculation on future events is concerned. And
George Lucas only made Star Wars to make money. Then Jack does exactly what
Zack told him not to do, during the question and answer period with the judges;
he tells everyone that he hasn’t seen Stars Wars or Star Trek. <cue Pacman
game over music>
Once all of the nerds have settled into their chairs on stage, looking very sharp in their blazers and team colored polo shirts, Curtis introduces the judges. Up first is returning debate judge, Gordon Stables, head of USC Debate and Forensics. The second judge is comedian and host of Uber Nerdy Podcast’s The Indoor Kids, Kumail Nanjiani and finally, the third judge of this nerdy debate is Lando Calrissian himself, (from Star Wars, duh), Billy D. Williams. Jack isn’t familiar with any of the judges.
So our dear, sweet Katie’s strings have been slashed and her bubble has been burst and since we are down to only six nerds, I’m thinking that in episode six, the teams will be dissolved and the individual competition will begin. If not at the beginning, the “merge” will happen at the end of the episode and this is where things will get really interesting. It’s safe to say that even if they are competing individually, the Titans’ bond is going to stick until they can get rid of both Jack and Zack, but I think Zack is going to be one tough cookie to beat. He’s won every Nerd Off he’s competed in and it’s going to take an epic failure on his part for one of the Titans to win the crown. Good luck, Titans, you’re going to need it.
King of the Nerds airs on TBS at 10pm/9pm on Thursdays. You can check out the cast bios and loads of extras at the Official King of the Nerds Webpage. And don't forget to follow our nerds on Twitter! All of their Twitter handles are on their corresponding biography pages on the TBS website. Stay nerdy, my friends!
If you're not following me on Twitter you can @thedolphinpoet. I'm compiling a Top Ten List of things we learned from this season of King of the Nerds and I want YOUR suggestions for what should be on it. Tweet them to me whenever you think of something funny and I might use yours!
Oh! Here's the info on Robert A. Heinlein: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_A._Heinlein.
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