Speed Survivor: What Could Have Been...

In March of 2012 I got it into my head that I was going to organize a fundraiser: Speed Survivor. I wanted to hold it this summer (2014), but that’s not going to happen now. I don’t want all my hard work to be in vain so here is everything I have.

What It Is: A full season of Survivor played out over five days and four nights complete with filming and online episodes, taking place at Lake Wabaunsee, the “Gem of the Flint Hills”, located five miles from Eskridge, Eskridge the “Gateway to the Flint Hills” along the Native Stone Scenic Byway between Dover and Alma, Kansas.

How It Works: Potential players will raise donations from people will that will sponsor them as a player in a game of “Speed Survivor”. The sixteen people who raise the most money from their sponsors will be invited to Lake Wabaunsee during the chosen dates, two additional players will be selected by an online sponsorship drive from the players in the 17-24 spots on the most donations raised list. All players will also participate in a live reunion show at The Buffalo Inn’s Eskridge Labor Day Weekend Rodeo Street Dance where the winner will be announced with live music to follow.

To Be Eligible: Players must be 21 and older, raise at least $500 in donations and meet the requirements as outlined in the Player Agreement Form.

(I had a lawyer willing to help me with legal stuff for free, I had permission to use the public property at the lake and probably would have gotten permission to use the golf course for challenges as well – The bed and breakfast owner was not responsive to my emails about housing the jury and using their property to film exit interviews and act as my “Ponderosa”).

Now let me show you around the lake. Let’s just start with the most impressive site: Tribal Council.

I mean, just look at that – Can’t you just see it all lit up with torches at night? The picture below is of what where my production area would have been set up – conveniently located just 50 or so feet from Tribal Council and the restaurant and bar at the lake.

The next pictures are of the swimming beach, which needed some work, then it received some attention – that I didn’t even have to request the City Council do, they just did it, but… They didn’t fix the real problem. Before:

After: The lack of rain in the summer of 2012 brought the lake water level way down so the concrete barrier was ripped out and the beach was “extended”… Until the rain came again and now the beach is the exact same as it always was, but now the sand washes back into the lake and will have to be replaced every summer.

Camp Areas: I had three picked out, (one campsite would have been used - more economical), two close to the swimming beach, which is close to the Tribal Council area. The first was an actual campsite, the second was an old boy scout camp site. The third campsite was a mostly isolated patch of land between housing areas and a short walk from the golf course, but would have required boats for tribes to travel to Tribal Council.

Old Boy Scout Camp Entrance

Campsite Three Entrance

Oh! You know what I have! A map!

Now let’s get to these challenges! While I have most of the challenges planned out in my head, only about half of them are outlined in my production schedule. I really needed help with challenge production; I was having trouble deciding when to do which challenge, how many double Tribal Councils was too many, if I should do Survivor Classic or roll with an Outcast Tribe so everyone would get to play for more than two days… I needed a co-producer. Here is one version, the Survivor Classic version.

Challenge 1: Buffalo Testicle Eating
Reward: Immunity & Sleeping Gear

This should be pretty self-explanatory. Tribes go head-to-head, each player has to eat a portion of buffalo testicle (my friend’s dad raises them at a farm just outside of town) to score a point. If there is a tie, a timed round is played.

Challenge 2: Shelter Building
Reward: Immunity & Shelter

Callers guide blindfolded and bound tribe mates to bundles of tent-building components; once collected Builders must correctly assemble with help from the Caller who has the instructions. Once built, the tent must be disassembled and repacked then the entire tribe must run back to the starting mat to win. Reward: The tent and a tarp.

Challenge 3: Endurance Tag
Reward: Pizza/Beer Dinner & Bonus Options

Tribe mates are bound clipped to a rope and must carry two 10 pound sandbags around a course; players can drop out at any time, but another tribe mate must carry their sandbags. First tribe to tag the other wins. Bonus Reward Options: Tent/Tarp, Sleeping Gear, Flint, Bonus Rations *** Double Tribal Council ***

Challenge 4: Untie Your Knots
Reward: Immunity/Tribe Breakfast

Phase One: The night before the actual challenge, each tribe is given a locked box containing the other tribe’s flag, a bag of assorted lengths of rope and instructions to use the provided materials to make the box as impenetrable as possible.

Phase Two: After freeing the box from the ropes, it must be carried down the course to stations where a picture puzzle on the box will reveal the number codes to unlock two padlocks on the box; once the flag has been freed, the entire tribe must run to the finish mat with the flag to win.

Challenge 5: Chain Gang
Reward: Immunity/Challenge Advantage

Tribe members are bound together with padlocked chains and must work together to unlock themselves at different stations around a course; once a tribe member is freed, they must run back ahead to the tribe flag; when all tribe members are unlocked and at the flag, they must run back to the starting mat with the flag to win the challenge.

Challenge 6: Wabaunsee Pines Putt-Putt
Reward: Immunity/Tribe Lunch

Players must putt all nine holes of the Wabaunsee Pines golf course; each player must putt once then it’s a “free-for-all” putt. Advantage Won from Last Challenge: Automatic Hole-In-One; cannot be used on the last hole. Lowest score wins.

Challenge 7: Stack It
Reward: Individual Immunity/Dinner for Two

At the host’s discretion, players will have to stack coins on a small pedestal that they must hold with one hand while balancing on a block. In intervals, the players will add more coins until the host is satisfied then the endurance test begins; last person from each tribe standing wins Immunity and Reward.

And… That’s the Merge. It’s the Individual Immunity challenges that I really needed help to organize, but I pretty much know what they are. There was a trivia challenge that would take place AT Tribal Council immediately following a vote out, a Story-telling challenge where the players would have to answer questions to collect tokens, the second chance challenge – the compilation of previous challenges, and of course, the final three endurance challenge. Speed Survivor, of course, is a Final Two – Not a lame Final Three. Speed Survivor would have NEVER had a Final Three. NEVER!

So... That's what I have to share with you about Speed Survivor. I have half of a production schedule written up with specific directions and times for setting up and tearing down challenges. I've put so much thought into this. I mean, I have website graphics made! I created that logo! It took hours and hours and hours. If anyone out there wants to help me make this happen sometime in the future, I have a lot more plans laid out than just the game. I have a strategy to gain sponsors to help pay for materials, food, etc. I know people that have facilities and connections. I COULD HAVE MADE THIS HAPPEN THIS SUMMER. I just knew it would be very difficult to gain the support of local businesses and community members, but THAT is a whole other story...

A Final Very Open Letter to the TBS Executives in Charge of Renewing King of the Nerds

Okay, TBS, I’m really hoping that this third time is the charm with you. At this point in time, in this struggle that the Nerd Army faces, this great battle to ensure that you renew King of the Nerds… Despite the fading morale of some, my optimism is unending and I refuse to go gently into that good night. I will not give up. I will never surrender. I’m pulling out my bag of tricks, rolling up my sleeves and the gloves are coming off – it’s time to fight this fight bare-knuckled.

One: King of the Nerds is a show that our society needs! There are so many more nerds and geeks out there that feel all alone, isolated, ridiculed, etc. The Nerd Army is here for them, but there is only so much we can do to promote the awesomeness that is the Nerd. We need the show to reach a larger audience – and so do you – Some nerds are turned off by the commercials and think that the show is making fun of them. Everyone who watches the show knows this isn’t true, but you’re making it very hard for casting to find the types of nerds you’re looking for by how the show has been portrayed in your commercials. I’ve heard this first hand from a member of the Nerd Army who works in a comic book store and spent a whole day talking to customers about King of the Nerds – Every single person who said they didn’t watch the show, gave that reason. He talked to over 50 people that day and none of them watched King of the Nerds. I wish I had Jack here to help me with the math and statistics, but by my estimation, your viewers would double if people weren’t so turned off by the ads for the show. I don’t know who is in charge of those commercials, but they need to be more nerd-friendly and less oriented on pulling in the viewers who want to see the typical reality TV drama. Don’t worry about pulling in those viewers: I got your back and I’ve got good connections. Why do you think I wanted to get Spencer and McCrae from Big Brother 15 involved in my interviews of the season two cast members? And why haven’t we seen Kayla on Conan O’Brien yet? SHE WAS CROWNED KING and Celeste was on the show last year…. And Jack should really be booked for Jimmy Fallon with Kelsey.

Two: You should have been looking for a season three cast immediately following the finale. I don’t have cable, because I don’t have an actual job right now, but are you even airing commercials to promote the casting call or are you that scared to spend some money? I really should have listened to my instincts the day the casting call was announced. I had such a great idea, but I was told to only do what I was asked to do and out of respect for the people involved, I didn’t implement it. It’s probably too late now, but I’m still going to try and no one knows I’m doing this and I don’t care! I’ll apologize later instead of asking for permission because desperate times call for desperate measures and I think we’re in the desperate times segment of this whole situation.

Three: Operation Desperate Times: I made a printable flyer. The quality won’t be the best because I don’t have a high resolution file of the image that casting used, but it’ll do. I want EVERYONE WHO CARES ABOUT THIS SHOW to print off the flyer, make some copies and post them wherever nerds flock, and even the places you wouldn’t expect to find nerds. Please ask for permission before you post these flyers – most shop owners and business will be more than happy, but some do have policies so it’s best to ask. Focus on comic book shops, game stores, book stores, libraries, hobby shops, etc. Any kind of business that you think nerds would patronize – flyer it up! I feel like we’re running short on time and I don’t want to mess with finding a new network to pick up the show so I really need everyone in the Nerd Army to step it up. You say you love the show? Prove it. Tweet me pictures of you posting these flyers all around your towns. Any copy place can make black and white copies of the flyer and they won’t cost a lot, barely $10 for 20 copies. My Twitter is @thedolphinpoet. If the poster below doesn't work right for some reason, email me at dolphinpoetmelissa@yahoo.com and I'll email you back with a PDF file.

Another Open Letter to the TBS Executives In Charge of Renewing King of the Nerds

Okay, TBS, it’s been a couple of weeks since I enlisted in the “Nerd Army” and we’re all still waiting to hear if you are going to renew King of the Nerds for a third season. I gave you a piece of my heart, now how about some numbers. I know these figures don’t mean much to you, but they mean a lot to me.

Twenty-five people have changed their Twitter avatars to the image I created for them. Over 100 memes have been created to support the renewal of the show. Jack was my 200^th follower a couple weeks into season two; I now have 432, over a hundred more people than subscribed to my newspaper. My blog post with Kayla’s 1-2-3 Nerd Punch plan… I’m not at liberty to share that information since I do not own the site, but I’m from a town of less than 600 people; more people are interested in my blog post than were ever interested in my newspaper. Way more.

To help promote King of the Nerds to new audiences, and to raise awareness of the “Nerd Army’s” efforts to convince you to renew King of the Nerds, I set up two interviews. Your Reality Recaps co-host, Jon Richardson,sat with me for Kayla’s interview. Jon did two YRR shows that day; I’ve never seen him film two in a day. For my interview with Zack I asked my good friend, and Big Brother 15 second runner up, Spencer Clawson to host and to invite his fellow BB15 houseguest, McCrae Olson along for the ride. Spencer loved season one and turned McCrae onto the show this year. And I plan on doing more interviews with King of the Nerds cast members, as soon as Eric and Jon get back from Reality Rally…

Because even if you don’t find King of the Nerds profitable to produce again, I’m still going to promote it because I have made such a great group of new friends because of this show – Friends that I will be friends with for the rest of my life. The only other group of friends that have impacted my life so much are my “Ben Friends” – we are nerds for Ben Folds and Ben Folds Five, among many other standard fandoms in Nerd Culture and we met on the Internet. I still won’t get into that, but nerds are my people and no matter what, something amazing happened to me because of King of the Nerds.

And if SpikeTV is willing to produce a third season of The Joe Schmo Show, nine years after season two aired, I have hope that someday, another group of nerds will enter the halls of Nerdvana. I may even start pushing for a fourth season of Joe Schmo in the meantime because like King of the Nerds, Joe Schmo is all about celebrating the “good guys” and I want to see what kind of host character Ralph Garman will come up with next because he’s brilliant.

So… The “Nerd Army” is still vigilant and we are loyal to our King until a new one is crowned. I'm sorry to all of my Twitter followers for blowing up your timelines so much lately. As soon as we get word about a renewal, I won't be as annoying. :)

An Open Letter to the TBS Executives In Charge of Renewing King of the Nerds

Dear TBS Executives,

Before you see the numbers for the King of the Nerds season two finale and make your final decision about renewing the show for a third season, I have prepared this open letter for you consider while you decide. Anyone that reads my King of the Nerds blog knows that I’m not good at math, but I know for a fact that the equation you are using to give the stamp of approval for King of the Nerds season three is missing a very vital variable: Heart. Don’t forget to factor in how much your loyal viewers love King of the Nerds. As one of those loyal viewers, I would like to present you with a piece of heart to use when you make your decision. 

Survivor premiered the summer after my dad died. My younger sister had just finished her freshman year of college and was staying with me; we were hooked after episode one and soon, our mom and little brother were watching along with a cousin of ours and a family friend. Survivor/Pizza night was formed some time around season three, I think, and I don’t know about everyone else in the circle, but for me, watching Survivor and talking about it after was very therapeutic. Watching everyday people play this crazy game and expose themselves to the world was comforting. 

My dad would have hated Survivor and Big Brother, two of my never-miss-an-episode favorites. I don’t think he would have seen the genius in one of my other favorites either, The Joe Schmo Show, because he would not be a reality TV fan if he were still alive; and if you’re not into reality TV, comedy or the entertainment industry in general, you just don’t understand why that show is so brilliant. King of the Nerds, though…

My dad would have loved King of the Nerds and he would have happily sat down to watch it with me every week because I had one of those really cool dads that let my little sister and I watch all kinds of inappropriate movies for little girls. Movies like, Revenge of the Nerds, Spaceballs, and Airplane – anything comedy related, you can bet that my sister and I were allowed to watch it unless it was really dirty. I can just hear the conversation I would have had with him last year. “Dad, oh my god, TBS is doing this reality show and they are only casting nerdy people and Booger and Louis from Revenge of the Nerds are the hosts.” That’s all it would have taken to convince him to watch and after this season, he would be sending a letter of his own to let you know how awesome it is. This is something that I know for a fact because it’s making me tear up a little right now. It’s sad we don’t get to watch it together for real; sometimes I can hear his laughter and comments in my imagination when I watch now, but it’s not the same. My mom loves the show, though, so does my younger brother and we really enjoy watching it together. 

That’s my piece of heart, now for the spin attack with my Master Sword. If you think you won’t be able to keep the show fresh and new, don’t! You’ve got a small army of nerds on your side to act as consultants for developing new challenges and if you want my ideas on how to mix up and twist the social game, I’ve got some and I’m kind of an expert on the highest rated reality competition shows on television. A couple of other fans and I came up with some great King of the Nerds games as well last week on Twitter. King of the Nerds has a bright future; if not on this Earth, a parallel one that has fully embraced the “worship” of intelligence. Create the alternate time line that takes us to that future! You can help save us from the world of Idiocracy we seem to be hurtling towards! 

At the very least, give us fans a prime number of seasons; three is a prime number. So is seven and 11, 13, 17, 19, 23… Also... Enjoy my Tweets tonight!

King of the Nerds: S2E7: Not So Angry Nerds

We’re down to the Final Five on the second season of King of the Nerds and the individual game has begun. Jack and Zack are the only two fingers that remain from the hand of Midas and there are three Titans blocking their path to the throne: Kayla, Brian and Xander. A clink drink toast is held for fallen Titan Chris, but Xander is happy that Brian is still in the game. Outside, Jack and Zack enjoy a celebratory sword fight on the steps of Nerdvana and are soon joined by others. Zack tells everyone that at this point, they are all Kings and Queens of the Nerds to him and that no nerd is really better than any other nerd. Now I ask you, is that something that a villain says? Nooope! Zack is an Anti-Hero.

When Curtis calls all nerds to the courtyard there are no funny costumes, but that’s cool and I’ll show you why in a bit. It’s Live Gaming Week in Nerdvana and the first individual Nerd War is called Nerdio Kart. Not only will the winning nerd be safe from banishment, but they will also hold the fate of a fellow nerd in his or her palm; the winner is allowed to vote one person into the Nerd Off and the remaining four will vote in the other. No other details are given about the challenge and the nerds are sent back to Nerdvana with three hours of study. Xander isn’t sure what will be involved, but is sure that his skills as a gamer will help him do very well and Kayla, a car enthusiast, is also feeling very confident. Zack; however, is not feeling so great. If they have to do any driving, he’s certain he will lose – Because he’s never driven a car and doesn’t have a license!

Time for the Nerd War! See what I mean about the lack of funny costumes? Tronified nerds is far greater! For this War, each contestant will drive their own Nerdio Kart for 12 laps around the course. First place snags 5000 points, second 4000 and so on, but bonus stars will light up around the track that are worth 250 points each if the players can drive over them. Each Nerdio Kart is in a randomly assigned position: Zach is in position one, Xander is in second, Jack has third, Kayla starts in fourth and Brian is in the final position. After the race starts, the players maintain their positions until Xander bumps into Zack leaving a gap open for Kayla to slide into the lead. With ten laps remaining, the bonus stars begin to appear, but Kayla has a good lead on the boys – she totally laps Brian who has fallen into last place. According to Jack, people are crashing more than Microsoft! And “curse his bleeding heart”, Xander stops to make sure people are okay. With only one lap to go, though, Xander has managed to get snuggled up next to Kayla in second place and is relying on his collection of bonus stars to beat Kayla. Everyone is relying on bonus stars to beat Kayla because she is so far ahead of the boys at this point.

Bonus points end up not meaning a thing, though, because Kayla has enough of them to win the Nerd War with Xander finishing in second. It is because of his performance that Kayla shares the reward with him: they will each receive a Telepresence Robot from Double Robotics worth $2,000! While Kayla and Xander play with their new toys, Jack and Zack talk with Brian. They know they are at risk of going to the Nerd Off and they are curious as to who Kayla might vote into the competition. Actually, everyone is curious about who Kayla is going to target. It’s the talk of the Nerdvana. As Brian says, the “great game” is afoot; everyone is breaking off into pairs and trios to talk strategy.

Xander and Kayla must have received a special dinner reward in addition to their awesome Telepresence Robots because they are outside on a patio eating and chatting, away from everyone else. Based on the assumption that Kayla votes for Zack, Xander is pretty sure that Jack and Zack are going to vote for Brian because Xander is a gamer and the dangling fingers of Midas want to protect themselves during Live Gaming Week. If Xander and Brian vote for Jack together, Kayla will have all the power because she will have to break a tie. Later in the T.A.R.D.I.S Brian is talking with Kayla; for his game, it would be ideal if Xander were up against Zack in the Nerd Off. When Brian leaves, Zack enters and Kayla slips into the conversation that Xander may be a viable candidate. Zack then walks in on Xander and Jack talking game; they discuss the possibility of voting as a trio to put Brian into the Nerd Off to avoid the tie. Then Zack tosses some firecrackers into the box; Kayla might target Xander. Boom!

The next day, the remaining Titans are having breakfast when Xander announces that he has created “Xander Bombs” throughout Nerdvana: If you vote for him, there’s trouble for you. Kayla is free to vote however she wants, but Xander has terms. Of course, Kayla doesn’t take this very well, she had no intention of voting for Xander and she lets him know that he probably just hurt himself more. Oops! Awkward! And for those of you who don’t know what this whole “Leroy Jenkins” thing is all about, watch this video.

To the throne room! Things play out a lot like last week’sepisode of Survivor Cagayan; Kayla votes for Jack, (not Zack! – Kayla is more scared of Jack’s brain), and the boys split their votes between Brian and Jack. Since Kayla won the Nerd Off, she breaks the tie and she doesn’t stray from her purple alliance, pitting Zack against Jack – the bird flip attack from the hand of Midas will soon be upon the Titans, but who will remain in Nerdvana to give the middle finger? Everything comes down to a game of Angry Nerds – yeah, it’s just what you’re thinking, a life-size version of Angry Birds. In the T.A.R.D.I.S is everything that Jack and Zack need to build a miniature version of the structure they would like to use in the Nerd Off; their builds will be recreated for them. (By the way, they totally use Big Brother music in this show, same music that we often hear in Survivor too).

Before the epic showdown, the golden boys get to work designing their structures. Both Kayla and Brian are helping Jack with construction in the Midas Touch Attack War Room. Jack will be using the standard Lego-building strategy of staggering blocks for optimum stability while keeping his Nerds Balls spread far apart, (minds out of the gutter, folks, minds out of the gutter, it’s the best way to phrase it!). In the ToR Room, Zack is left alone to work out his block wall with only his friend Twilly, from the Adventure Quest games, to keep him company and give him advice. Too bad Twilly doesn’t really talk! Zack needs a Melissa-fied Yoda Backpack from Think Geek, but I don’t even have one of those, nor do I possess the skills necessary to modify a Yoda backpack. Maybe Katie could help me… Anyway, Zack is hoping that the game will come down to shooting because, pardon the pun, he thinks he will have a better shot at winning.

So how cool is this Nerd Off?

The game begins with Rock, Paper, Scissors and of course, Jedi Master Zack wins the choice of going first or second – BECAUSE HE CHOOSES SCISSORS EVERYTIME, COME ON, PEOPLE! Even if he doesn’t win King of the Nerds, Xander is definitely the King of the Diary Room. lol So Zack actually chooses to go first, giving Jack the advantage of watching him shoot the air cannon and learn from his mistakes. Zachary! What were you thinking?! Did the gravity of the situation get to you? You never choose to go first in a competition like this! Anyone that wants to be on King of the Nerds should really watch a couple of seasons of Big Brother and Survivor; you will learn a lot.

Both boys miss their first shots and do little damage to each other’s structures. In his second shot, though, Zack scores a direct hit against Jack, but does little to lessen the integrity of the build. Jack thinks it was a lucky shot and in his second attempt, he manages a direct hit as well! Against one Zack’s blocks. No points! Their third shots do some damage to the walls, but neither scores a point, though Jack comes close. Zack’s fourth shot is a miss as well, but Jack has finally switched gears. Instead of aiming for Zack’s Nerd Balls, he’s going to shoot for the structure, which is was a good strategy because it not only does good damage, but also puts him on the scoreboard. Zack’s fifth shot is successful in scoring a point, another direct hit then Jack evens up the score. Only smaller, well-protected, balls remain on Jack’s wall and one of Zack’s balls is precariously close to the edge at to the top of his.

Jack doesn’t even need to hit the ball to knock it down, though; a direct hit to the wall is all it takes to bring down the would-be Tyrant King of Nerdvana, Zack, who takes the loss extremely well. He will always consider the nerds to be his friends, and hugs are shared by all. I wanna give you a hug too, Zack! It kills me you’re not going to be in the finale. You deserve to be there, most definitely, but as you put it – All of you are Kings and Queens of the Nerds to me.

So we’re down to the final four and the finale episode of the season is upon us! Who will win King of the Nerds? Jumping Jack the Giant Slayer, Xander, King of the Diary Room, Brian the Bard of Bacon or will they have to change the name of the show to “Queen” of the Nerds if Kayla wins the right to sit atop the Thone of Games? Find out Thursday on TBS at 10pm Eastern, 9pm Central! And we have to Tweet Tweet TWEET to TBS to ensure they renew the show for a season three!

And for all you nerds that are fans of Reality TV, take some time to look around the new Your Reality Recaps website! We cover all the best shows and if you don’t see a show you consider to be the best, let Eric (@RealityRecaps) know! He never has enough stuff to do. :) I’m also still compiling my list of “Top Ten Things We Learned from King of the Nerds Season Two” – Got something funny to submit? Hit me up on Twitter @thedolphinpoet and I might add yours to the list! Until next time, stay nerdy, my friends.

Survivor Cagayan: Ep2: Dot Dot Dot Hmmm

No chit chat! Let’s get right into the action. With Garrett out of the game, Spencer is the only dude left at the Brains camp and he knows his days are numbered. After Tribal Council, he asks Tasha if the outcome would have been different if Garrett the Dictator hadn't show up at camp and she confirms that he is correct. Things changed for Tasha, as they should have, when the alliance between Garrett, Spencer and Kass was exposed. She has no loyalty to Spencer and she and Kass are all in for a girls alliance. Spencer is in big trouble if they don’t pull out a win at the next Immunity Challenge. So what if J'Tia threw out 95% of their rice?

At the Brawn camp, Tony comes out of the cop closet to Sarah and did I call it or what? The cops have decided to form a Cops-R-Us alliance, but as soon as it’s formed Tony start throwing around names and false stories – he’ll swear on any name he has to, he doesn't care, he’s in it to win it! And he’s playing way too hard way too fast. You’ve got an idol, Tony, and your team is doing really well in Immunity Challenges! Why muddy up your reputation this early on by lying to a cop who knew you were a cop before you told her? Duh! Not a smart move for a guy with an Immunity Idol in his pocket. Not a smart move at all. I predict this guy either gets blindsided with the Idol in his bag, (or back at camp like Garrett) or he plays it when doesn’t need to. Sorry, Tony, but this is the part of the game when a guy like you has to play real chill because you're a huge threat in individual immunity challenges.

And the RAIN is back! No Survivor Light for these players!  It amazes me this far into the series how often people “didn’t think it would be this bad” on Survivor. Have they never watched the show?! Dealing with the unpredictable elements is all part of the experience. Woo gets it, he loves it and I love Woo! The wind in this episode, though… I don’t think I’ve ever seen wind that fierce on Survivor ever before. Or a tribe of more useless women! Beauties! Letting those boys do all the work on the shelter, like you can’t weave palm leaves together for the roof and hey, maybe you’ll warm up if you move around a little more! All the time spend huddling in the shelter was good for LJ, though, because it gave him time to think about what Morgan was doing over there by those rocks when the rest of the tribe joined her at camp…

Tree Mail Call at the Brains island! The next immunity challenge will involve throwing buckets of water and they could win a tarp! Tasha immediately wants to practice, but J’Tia would like to eat some rice first… Let me say that again, J’Tia wants to eat rice before they practice for the challenge. Kass wants to do some work on some interior design elements in the shelter, Spencer is really dehydrated… Tasha does get in her practice time, though, and thus begins my favorite scene in the episode: The Brains tribe in the ocean tossing water back and forth into coconut shells with the Blue Danube Waltz by Strauss playing in the background. I will always think of Survivor when I hear that piece now. (And I made sure to get a picture of Spencer shirtless in the blog for Eric).

Immunity Challenge 3: Very teamwork oriented, this challenge requires that one tribe member toss a bucket of water to another, the person catching the bucket must throw the water out for a third member to catch in another bucket. (Oh yeah, and everyone is shocked that Garrett is gone). The third person will fill a container with water until it lowers, releasing a shiny ball that will be used in a vertical, circular maze that requires two tribe members to solve. First two to finish win Immunity and it’s looking real good for Beauty and Brawn when the challenge begins. Beauty finishes the water toss first; Jeremiah and LJ take the reigns for the maze. Shortly after, Cliff and Woo get to work on the maze for the Brawns. All of my favorites are working on this puzzle! When the Brains finally collect enough water, Spencer and Kass have a lot of time to make up and the Brawns provide them with a lot of motivation when they finish in first place. So it’s down to the Beauties and the Brains and Spencer is working those ropes like Jack jumped through those lasers on King of the Nerds. He’s moving fast and the Beauty tribe is starting to freak out and BOOM! Brains win Immunity!

So it’s off to Tribal Council for the Beauty tribe, (I’m skipping right over all the celebration and the Brawn tribe), where LJ reveals the he, Jeremiah, Alexis and Jefra are “on the same page” and they all think Brice should be the target. Brice is worried about being the target and has a little chat with his good friend, Jeremiah, who lets him know that what LJ and the rest of the group (minus Morgan) is targeting him; Brice suggest they vote out Alexis instead. Jeremiah says he down for that. If they can swing Jefra over to their side, Morgan thinks they can switch it up and she finds some time to chat with her alone. In turn, Jefra approaches Jeremiah for a chat to confirm what she just talked about with Morgan and then there are baby birds and a lizard and all of the sudden they are going to split the votes, go to a tie, then vote out Brice.

Tribal Council 3: There really isn't any reason to break down this Tribal. They split the vote between Alexis and Brice, there’s a tie, they vote again and Brice goes home. While I see why they voted out Brice, I really don’t understand the point of splitting the votes into a tie. What’s the point of making someone who will stay on the island angry? The best thing from Tribal council number three is to the right, but there’s only one other thing I have to add, regarding the preview of the next episode: YOU NEVER EVER THROW A TRIBE IMMUNITY CHALLENGE IN SURVIVOR. EVER. If any of my readers are ever on Survivor, please follow that bit of advice and promise I get your first official interview.

Survivor airs on CBS on Wednesday nights at 8pm Eastern, 7pm Central. Don’t forget to tune in live for the Your Reality Recaps Survivor Recap every Thursday at 3:10pm Eastern, 2:10 Central and subscribe to the YouTube channel so you never miss an upload of the edited versions. This is a link to the Episode 2 Recap! (Don’t forget to “like” them on YouTube)! And if you love what you see at Your Reality Recaps, help bring more awesomeness into your life by supporting the YRR Kickstarter. (NEVER ever throw a Tribe Challenge in Survivor. Ever.)

King of the Nerds: S2E6: Hashtag Whaaat?! And Other Hashtags As Well...

What a great week for Reality TV! After a pretty awesome first episode of Survivor Cagayan, the sixth installment of King of the Nerds season two was an equal match for excitement. Midas Touch Attack is down to two members, Zack and Jack, and the Titans of Rigel still have four, Xander, Chris, Brian and, the only girl left in the competition, Kayla. We’re on the verge of a merge and there’s no telling what will happen when the players execute their end-game strategies.

After Katie’s departure, the teams head back into Nerdvana. Jack and Zack feel great about their position in the game, Zack in particular is feeling quite confident that MTA will control things from here on out and that one of them will win the crown. The Titans of Rigel are really bummed that Katie has been eliminated and don’t know where they went wrong since they did everything they could to help her send Jack home instead. This is the first time that ToR has really felt the sting of losing a team member since they had to say good-bye to Kelsey in the first episode; their mood has visibly changed as they grumble about Jack and/or Zack being a part of the Final Five they wanted to share with Katie. It’s time to focus, regroup and figure out what to do in the next phases of the game.

At this time, I completely retract all comments made about Chris being a wall flower. This guy is actually quite sinister; he aims to misbehave, making it his mission to drive a wedge between Zack and Jack so that their performance in the upcoming Nerd War will be more difficult for them. They fall for it hook, line and sinker. Chris is disgusted that Jack would choose to have him physically harmed in the name of revenge during the last Nerd Off and there is no way the emotional damage can be repaired. Jack takes the sneak attack in stride. Equally upsetting thoughts are shared with Zack and you can imagine how he reacted to Chris poking at his ego… Zack isn’t sure what’s happening, but he doesn’t like it! 

When Curtis calls all nerds to the courtyard, we see that the silly costumes are back! This week’s activities are all about science fiction and one of sci-fi’s most beloved icons is in trouble. George Takei needs help and only our nerds can provide it. Resident Star Trek lover, Kayla is absolutely excited, well, they are all absolutely excited, I mean, come on – it’s George Takei! What nerd doesn’t love Uncle George? Curtis and Bobby further explain that two people from each team will have to work together to navigate a maze of lasers and solve a math problem to open the cage in which George Takei has been imprisoned. Jack is super excited that math is involved; math is a staple in the nerd community and numbers are Jack’s bread and butter, but that’s only half of the equation. The “working together” part of this Nerd War means that one person will be “blindfolded” and the other will have to direct them through the lasers.

Always excited for the next Nerd War, everyone rushes back into the house to grab their practice gear from the T.A.R.D.I.S. Each team has been giving brightly colored spools of string and tape so that they can create their own “laser” mazes. The gravity of the situation hits Zack after he and Jack have set up their mock maze a hallway. If they lose this Nerd War, they both go to the Nerd Off and one of them will go home. They decide that Jack will go through the maze and Zack will guide him. Zack has lead many successful raids in World of Warcraft and he’s very confident that he will be able to do the same in this situation. The Titans also have their mock maze set up; six foot two inches tall Xander is not having much luck and from the sounds of it, his math skills are as “amazing” as my own, (hashtag not that amazing). Everyone agrees that Chris and five foot four inches tall Brian are the best Titans to go to battle on this one; Brianrietta’s skort will come in handy yet again!

Later, there is an altercation in the hallway; Chris and Brian have stumbled upon Jack and Zack’s hallway maze and Chris want to use it to practice. It’s in a public area, which according to Chris makes it public property and he is adamant that his team will use it. Zack argues that it’s unfair if the purple team unless the advantage is vice versa. Chris is still executing his “mind games” strategy, “asking” if the Titan’s can use the space next to MTA’s maze to practice, which absolutely makes no sense and Zack agrees with me. Frustrated, and aware now that Chris is messing around with him, Zack gives up, let’s Chris do whatever he wants with the gold team’s maze and meditates in another room. Zack is not going to let his emotions get the best of him; he is determined to win this Nerd War.

So off to the Nerd War we go and the whole set up is just too much for Xander; there are lasers, math problems on podiums - he’s over-stimulated. It’s probably a good thing Xander is not actually competing to save George Takei. Before the War begins, Curtis explains a few more rules. Every time they trigger a laser, the player must freeze in that position and endure a one minute penalty to be able to continue; if they mess up on the math problem to unlock Uncle George’s cage, they will incur a 30 second penalty. Without further ado, George encourages the teams to “live long and prosper”, (Jack doesn’t know how to do the hand gesture), the teams take their positions on opposite sides of a hallway, the maze crawlers each don a pair of spectrum reducing goggles so that they can’t see the lasers and the War begins.

Using the “Tortoise and the Hare” strategy, Brian of the Titans is taking baby steps around the lasers. Jack is definitely the hare in this situation; Zack encourages risky moves like jumping over lasers and crawling swiftly under others and Jack is not afraid to execute his commands. Curtis and Bobby provide the usual commentary, unbiased and objective commentary unlike some other reality competition show hosts we know… What I find interesting here is that almost every time we see the hosts and our iconic captive, George has his eye on Midas Touch Attack; it must be be Zack’s rambunctious instructions, which lead to the first one minute penalty in the game. Brian scores a penalty for the Titans soon enough – oh myyy! He’s also kind of stuck in a corner at this point in the competition.

When Jack’s penalty time is over, Zack urges him to jump again and he does so successfully; Brian’s penalty time is up quickly after, but he immediately incurs another – on the same laser. Jumping Jack continues following Zack’s directions of hopping over lasers and lands in the math zone of the challenge quickly; the Titans aren’t even half way down the hallway. In the math zone, the question of the day is as follows… Tribbles Trouble: Through asexual reproduction, a single Tribble will produce a litter of 10 offspring every 12 hours. If you brought ONE Tribble aboard your starcraft, how many Tribbles would you have after 48 hours.

Yeah… Math… Multiple multiplications… My brain just isn’t wired to be able to solve these math problems quickly in my head. I would probably have trouble on paper as well. Numbers just aren’t my thing, but Jack and Zack should breeze through it right? Not so much, they fail to answer correctly on their first attempt, opening the door for the Titans to advance during the 30 second penalty time. Chris and Brian, taking a cue from the gold team, begin to act more adventurously, lessening the gap between the teams. After their 30 seconds are up, though, Jack figures out the key to solving the equation – the Fibonacci Sequence! Just because I’m not good at it, doesn’t mean I’m not fascinated by mathematics – I own Donald in Mathemagic Land and Pi on DVD so… I know what the Fibonacci Sequence is… I just can’t explain it nor do I possess the ability to explain how Jack uses it to quickly release George Takei from his cage. Yup! Midas Touch Attack has finally won another Nerd War!

Ironically, Chris’ mind games actually helped solidify the bond and focused the communication skills of Midas Touch Attack. Their reward for winning the Nerd War is a visit to the Legacy special effects studio, which Jack and Zack totally enjoy. Too bad Katie couldn’t have survived to go with them! While the two fingers of Midas are off seeing the special effects wizardry, the purple teams makes light of their situation by filming a series of special Diary room sessions. Two members of their team will be voted into the Nerd Off and they have to do part of the voting. They haven’t had to do this since the first episode. Chris is pretty sure that the gold team is going to vote him into the Nerd Off because of his behavior before the Nerd War. Zack confirms they are thinking about Chris, but he and Jack both agree that Brian is just as threatening in the end game.

In the ToR room, talk has now switched to which of their own they are going to offer to the Nerd Gods in the throne room. Want to see what happens when real brains have an open forum before a “tribe vote”? I’m still so disgusted by Garrett in Survivor… I will say it again here: What a terrible casting choice for someone who was supposed to be on the Brains tribe, let alone the show itself. So glad he’s gone... Since all of the Titans are rational, logical people who work well together, and don’t have a lame player like Garrett around, they discuss openly that most of the team is threatened by Chris and will be voting someone into the Nerd Off that they believe can beat him. Kayla has a lot of science fiction knowledge and both Xander and Brian agree that she is the best choice to compete against Chris.

Before they are called to the Throne Room, the Titans are still debating on who to vote for; Brian suggests they vote for Bacon. AND I FINALLY KNOW WHAT ALL THE #IMBACON IS ALL ABOUT! Seriously! I was so confused because I didn’t think any of the nerds were Big Brother fans so they couldn’t have been referring to Adam from Big Brother and his obsession with bacon. Now I know it was a talking bacon strip plush, probably from Think Geek. I really want one now – he would go well with my “The Cheat” talking plush. Anyway… Chris doesn’t want to vote for Kayla to go into the Nerd Off – she can beat him and he doesn’t want to lose. Kayla tells him to vote for Brian, but Chris doesn’t know if she plans on doing the same or if there is strategy involved. In the Throne Room, the votes are revealed; MTA has voted for Chris and ToR has voted for… whaaaaat? Hashtag blindside in King of the Nerds!? Brian is voted in by the purple team to compete in the Nerd Off, not Kayla!

After Brian and Chris bend a knee, they learn that this Nerd Off will be part science fiction trivia, part first person shooting game. They have three hours to utilize the weaponry provided for them in the T.A.R.D.I.S for target practice and they are encouraged to memorize the millions of sci-fi literature on Amazon. There are absolutely no hard feelings between the Titans of Rigel and both nominees are eager to begin preparations. Chris is not going to worry about shooting Nerf guns; he is going to study as much science fiction as he can because the trivia portion of the Nerd Off will be most challenging for him. Brian will balance his time between studying and target practice. Kayla offers her assistance to anyone who would like her help, but it seems that Chris is more content working alone. Don’t know where Xander was in all of this, but even Zack and Jack are giving Brian some shooting pointers.

When all of the nerds are gathered for the Nerd Off in the Throne Room, Curtis explains how the game works. For each trivia question answered correctly, both Brian and Chris will have the opportunity to shoot 40 rounds at three rows of spaceships of various sizes, shapes and point values. Whoever scores the highest number of points will win the Nerd Off. The first question is Firefly related and easy if you’ve seen Firefly and Serenity… Chris! Come on, man! So Brian answers the first two questions correctly, the table turns for the next two questions and Chris ends up with the higher score: 7800 to 6300. With two questions left, tensions are high, but both boys answer the fifth question right. Chris shoots first and boosts his score to 8900; Brian boosts his to 8700.

Time for the final question, and it is far easier than the first. Though our nerds may disagree on Star Wars and Star Trek, I think there is something other than Firefly that brings them back together: Doctor Freakin’ Who. What nerd doesn’t know what T.A.R.D.I.S means?! Oh wait, probably Jack, right? lol Obviously Chris answers correctly, he defined T.A.R.D.I.S for everyone in the first episode, and Brian knows as well that it means “Time And Relative Dimension In Space”; they both get 40 more rounds. Chris is first to shoot and he sets the bar at 11,200 for Brian. When Brian takes his last crack in the gunner’s chair, an error occurs in the games-o-matic scoring system; a hashtag nerdcliffhanger protocol has been executed while the system re-boots! Ahhh! zOMG1!!

Brian is victorious and another nerd bites the dust. The teams are as predicted, dissolved, and the game will switch to “every nerd for his or herself” mode in the next episode. And there are only two episodes left!!! <sigh> Two episodes… I have Survivor and the second season of Big Brother Canada to satisfy my desperate need for reality TV, but I am really going to miss King of the Nerds. I’m saying it now, and I will say it again – TBS: There had better be a season three; my suggestion, you do eleven seasons then all the winners compete for chance to join the ranks of Curtis and Bobby as a Nerd God. It’s just an idea. Let me know if you want more. I’ve got a lot.

King of the Nerds airs on TBS at 10pm/9pm on Thursdays. You can check out the cast bios and loads of extras at the Official King of the Nerds Webpage. And don't forget to follow our nerds on Twitter! All of their Twitter handles are on their corresponding biography pages on the TBS website. Stay nerdy, my friends!

If you're not following me on Twitter you can @thedolphinpoet. I'm compiling a Top Ten List of things we learned from this season of King of the Nerds and I want YOUR suggestions for what should be on it. Tweet them to me whenever you think of something funny and I might use yours!