Almost Time for The Amazing Race & SURVIVOR!

I have to interrupt this "broadcast" of King of the Nerds because we are days away from the premieres of The Amazing Race and Survivor. Literally, days away, like, less than a week. Let's not waste anymore time!

First up, The Amazing Race. The new All-Stars season premieres this Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY at 8pm eastern, 7pm central. Want to know who will be arguing, aligning and possibly U-Turning each other this year? Let me give you the run down…

I don’t think this team needs any introduction. Unless you don’t watch reality TV whatsoever, you know who Brenchel is and if you’re reading this blog, most likely you do watch reality TV (or I’ve “coerced” you into reading it). After a quick skim through their posted bios what caught my eye the most is the fact that Rachel would love to have a “Race Baby”, which sounds offensive, but isn’t. Rachel just wants to have a really cool conception story to tell their kid later. I can already hear this kid in the future… “Moooom, no! I don’t want to hear this! Na na na na na na na na”.

Next up, Bopper & Mark from season 20 (Brenchel was also on this season). Both are excited to run the race again, but know where their problem areas are: focus, navigation, clue reading and communication. (These problem areas are becoming a running theme already in these bios). Family is still important to them both and as both men are unemployed they are really hoping to bring home the million dollar prize. Mark would also like to bring some much needed recognition to Clay County, Kentucky where they both live. Good luck, Mark! You’re on TV again so you’ve got that working for you.

My neighbors to the south, the McCoy brothers are cowboying up for another shot at the prize. You might recognize these guys from season 16 and 18. Jet and Cord are really looking forward to creating some new memories this year and will be working on consistency and paying attention to direction. These two might have some problems since Cord is annoyed with Jet’s promptness and in turn, Jet is peeved by Cord’s White Rabbit Syndrome. No matter what, you can all bet that these Oklahoma boys will be giving 100% the entire race. Good luck, neighbors.

Dave and Conner O’Leary will also be back on our screens for All-Stars. You remember Dave. He was injured during season twenty-two, finished the fourth leg on crutches. How could you forget that? Part of his strategy will be to not get injured again this season and Conner is all for that! Both also want to slow down, take their time and never finish a leg last (yeah, duh). Dave and Conner are ready to prove that they can race with the best and, of course, they are looking to create some wonderful memories to share with the family back home.

Guess who else will be scrambling for taxis… our favorite Harlem Globetrotters, Flight Time and Big Easy from seasons fifteen and eighteen. Both ballers agree that they need to pay more attention to details this time around the world, but neither will be making any big, strategic changes to their game play. Flight Time thinks bad luck will be their biggest challenge and they are both looking forward to enjoying the experience. Flight Time really hopes they do better than they did in previous seasons, though. Just pay attention to those details, guys! READ YOUR CLUES!

Texas girls Jennifer and Caroline (season 22) are also joining this All-Star cast. They are even closer as friends now, not as boy crazy and they know they have a lot of improvements to make in their navigational and driving skills. Jennifer knows they can’t be as nice and open with information this time around and Caroline knows they need maps! Both would love to see India during this season and both ladies are looking forward to seeing more of the world, experiencing different cultures and meeting new people. Good luck, ladies!

Joey and Meghan (also from season 22) are stepping up to the plate for a second time. They are concerned about racing with so many people that have done this thing twice and they are super focused on paying attention to directions, driving directions. Both want to have fun, challenge themselves and be more thorough. Strategically, Meghan wants to avoid alliances LIKE THE PLAGUE and Joey plans on packing lighter. No matter what happens, they will surely have a good time and we’ll just have to see if their map reading skills have improved.

ALSO from season 22, John and Jessica have signed up again for the adventure of a lifetime. Both competitors agree that they need to be less competitive and not think too far ahead. One leg at a time is their philosophy this season; the last leg is the most important. Jessica thinks their biggest challenges this year will be language barriers, taxi drivers and her tunnel vision. She’s not thrilled about any singing and dancing challenges that might pop up either. They too want to enjoy the experience and they hope to make it a little further to create more amazing memories.

Oh look. It’s the Afganimals…MOVING ON!

Mom and son team, Margie and Luke from seasons 14 and 18 are back. Maybe the third time will be the charm for this duo? Mom Margie knows she needs to be more patient with her son, he is grown man and she knows that they need to communicate, communicate, communicate. Luke agrees, especially when self-driving is concerned. Both would love to perform better than they did in their second season, but they are both eager to enjoy the race and have a great experience together. I love this team! BEST of luck to Margie and Luke!

 

Last,but not least… TWINNIES! Natalie and Nadiya from season 21 will be giving this year’s race the one, two punch. Strategically, Natalie thinks they are well-rounded as a team, but both agree that they need to be more focused and make smart racing decisions. Following directions, and going in the right direction, is what Nadiya will be concentrating on and they are both, of course, looking forward to making great memories and enjoying the race together again and both are hoping to keep it cool, calm and collected this year.

There you have it, folks, those are our All-Star teams!

Once again, The Amazing Race premieres on Sunday, February 23^rd at 8pm eastern, 7pm central on CBS. If you want to check out the full bios of our racers go to http://www.cbs.com/shows/amazing_race/cast/.

Now let's talk about Survivor!

First of all, let’s not kid ourselves. We all know that the next season of Survivor will be known as Survivor: Brains vs. Beauty vs. Brawn, not Survivor: Cagayan. We all know this. Survivor: BBB is way easier to remember, and spell. Now that we've got that out of the way... Survivor: Brains vs. Beauty vs. Brawn premieres on Wednesday, February 26th at 8pm eastern, 7pm central on CBS and instead of one hour, we get two! Survivors ready... let's go!

THE BRAINS

J’Tia, David, Kassandra (Kass), Latasha (Tasha), Spencer & Garrett 

David Sampson is 45 years old and he is President of the Miami Marlins. BOO! I actually like the vibe I get from looking at this guy’s picture, but… BOO! No more “rich” and/or “famous” people on Survivor please, CBS. I liked Survivor more when casting gave this opportunity of winning a million dollars, (and the amazing experience) to everyday citizens like me. I’m really sick and tired of all of these people who can afford to recreate the experience for themselves given the opportunity that my friends who have tried to be on the show since season one are denied. Don’t like it. Not rooting for him, even if he seems like a great guy.

Garrett Adelstein is 27 years old and he is a Pro Poker Player from California. Garrett is hoping to win some money to impress L.A. girls… I guess if that’s that kind of girl you want, Garret, that’s cool. I would think a brainy, straight guy would be more interested in girls that are more impressed with his mind and personality, but if you want a high-maintenance, shallow woman, Garrett – have fun with all that drama. And good luck with your mission of self-growth, I think you are going to need a lot of luck in that department. Not loving the vibe I get from Garrett, but maybe that’s just his p-p-p-poker face. Ba dum ching!

J’Tia Taylor is 31 years old and she is a Nuclear Engineer in Chicago, Illinois. Finally! A player deserving of being on the Brains tribe! I definitely dig the vibe I get from this girl. From reading her bio she seems very level-headed and if we see any cattiness from her, like we do a lot of women on Survivor and Big Brother, I’ll be very surprised. J’Tia could easily be on the Beauty tribe, but she confesses that she is ¾’s more brainy; I hope she doesn’t come off too brainy with the dudes on her tribe, though, because based on the two guys I’ve already talked about, they are totally going “bros before ho’s” if they have to go to Tribal Council first.

Kassandra “Kass” McQuillen is 41 years old and she is an Attorney from Tehachapi, California. I think J’Tia will be okay if the brainy boys decide to team up against the brainy girls in a first episode Tribal Council situation. Kass is “old” (David is older, though!) and a lot of times the older players are eliminated early on because of the young guns and their misconception that their elders aren’t as able as they are to compete in challenges. BAH on that! Hopefully this won’t happen to Kass because I like her. She’s a rabble rouser, I’m a boat rocker – we’d get along just fine. I just hope she can keep it together and be social with her tribe to avoid the outsider stigma because I can totally envision her not fitting in with the “kids”.

Latasha “Tasha” Fox is 37 years old and she is an accountant from St. Louis, Missouri. Good job with these brainy gals, CBS! If they do have to go to Tribal Council first, I hope these three intellectual ladies will be able to sway the final male member of their tribe to join their side and vote out one of those other boys. Hopefully, they won’t have to toss someone off the island first, though, and maybe Tasha’s athletic abilities will help them accomplish the goal of avoid the torch-snuffing ceremony in episode one. Combined with J’Tia’s self-proclaimed puzzle-solving skills, they stand a good chance of sending the Beauties or Brawns to Tribal Council instead. (I guess other boys are pretty athletic too…)

Spencer Bledsoe is 21 years old and he is an Economics student at the University of Chicago. Finally! A male deserving of being on the Brains tribe! I’m not really feeling a lot of love for Spencer, though. Maybe it’s because he’s super focused on money and I know there are more important things in life on which to focus. More likely, though, is that he doesn’t smile with his eyes, at least not in that picture, and if I can’t get a good read on someone from their eyes they usually aren’t the kind of person I like to include in my circles of friends. Spencer is smart though, I think, and if he plays his cards right, he could go pretty far in the game. He also respects Todd Herzog, winner of Survivor: China; I love Todd, even more so after being blessed and lucky enough to meet him, so Spencer gets a little respect from me for that.

THE BEAUTIES

Brice, Jefra, Morgan, Alexis, Jeremiah & LJ

Alexis Maxwell is 21 years old and is a student at Northwestern University. Miss Alexis is hoping to immolate Parvati’s sex appeal and strategy and will be using her background in psychology to manipulate the group dynamics in the game. This beauty could definitely double as a brain; she seems smart enough in her bio. She thinks the beauties have the advantage, though because no one will view them as a strategic threat nor will they view the pretty people as a threat in challenges. This brain wouldn’t undervalue the beauties! They would be my first target because of the fact that girls like Alexis can, and will use their sex appeal on all the boys. We’ll see just how sharp she really is when the game begins.

Brice Johnston is 27 years old and is a social worker from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Brice has a nice smile and kind eyes so I like him. He also says he’s most like Cirie, Ozzy and… Colton? I sure hope he’s not too much like Colton! I don’t know how anyone could him into a group with Cirie and Ozzy, but I’m not seeing anything remotely in the area of “I’m a whiny brat and a quitter” in his eyes, so, I guess we’ll find out if his self-proclamation is on point. Really, though, who wants to brag about being like Colton? Brice also thinks he’s a triple threat; beauty, brains and brawn. Like I said, though, we’ll see. He says he’s good at reading people, but, we’ll see.

Jefra Bland is 23 years old, she is from Campbellsville, Kentucky and she lists her occupation as being “Miss Kentucky Teen USA”. This title is also her personal “claim to fame”. No offense or anything, but “Miss Kentucky Teen USA” is not an occupation, especially when you are twenty-three years old. If she had listed “unemployed college student” as her occupation and “recovering addict” as her personal claim to fame, I would have a lot more respect for this girl and her strategy going into the game. I mean, come on, Jefra, you’re selling yourself short! I think there is more to your life than a pageant crown you won in 2009. You survived cervical cancer for crying out loud!

Jeremiah Wood is 34 years old and he is a Male Model from Dobson, North Carolina. I was wondering how many people I would get through on this Beauty tribe to get to the model. Not to demean what he does. I know some fine-lookin’ cowboys in Kansas (all married w/ kids…) and I know a nice country boy when I see one and Jeremiah seems the kind-hearted type. So I like Jeremiah. I had a crush on a bright-blue eyed country boy in high school named Jeremiah so how could I not? My only problem with Jeremiah is that he says he’s most like JT, but then says he wants to prove that a country boy can survive and win. JT already did that, though, so has he never really watched Survivor? He probably meant to put “again” at the end of that statement.

LJ McKanas is 34 years old and he is a Horse Trainer in Boston, Massachusetts. Oh, really, LJ, you think you’re most like Boston Rob? Hmmm… Wonder why you think that? I actually get a really nice vibe from LJ and I actually like Boston Rob. BR may be cut throat, but keep in mind it took him four tries to win Survivor so he’s not that good. Sandra has only played twice and how many times has she won the game? Twice. I think LJ is definitely a formidable foe to the other players, but if he plays up the Boston Rob role too much, he might have trouble getting to the end. We’re in a phase of the games of Survivor and Big Brother when it’s better to be a floater, which has always been a legitimate strategy to winning either game.

Morgan McLeod is 21 years old and she is an Ex-NFL Cheerleader from San Jose, California. Here we go again with these beautiful girls not knowing what the word “occupation” means. Not impressed with the rest of her bio either. I can read between the lines really well and she clearly used her fine manipulation skills when filling out the form. Read it. It’s ridiculous. I think Morgan is going to have a real problem meshing well with the other ladies because she’s used to getting what she wants and when she wants an alliance or a showmance with a dude and doesn’t get it, she’s going to implode. Girls who think they are pretty and spoiled because of it, freak out when they don’t get what the want. I think we all know that.

THE BRAWN

Sarah, Yung (Woo), Tony, Lindsey, Cliff & Trish

Cliff Robinson is 46 years old and he is a Former NBA All-Star living in Buffalo, New York. UGH! This again. Not only is “Former NBA All-Star” NOT an occupation, but ugh! Another former sports star? Is he broke and not relevant to basketball anymore or did CBS call him immediately upon learning he was interested because he would be perfect for this season of Survivor? Or did CBS just call him because they had some kind of quota to fill? I’m not going to hold this against Cliff on a personal level, I actually like the vibe I get from him too. He says he has experience and knowledge of camping and fishing, knows how to cook, so he could do really well. Cliff will might be fun to watch and get to know so I don’t like that he’s on the show, but that’s just because I don’t like this method of casting.

Lindsey Olge is 29 years old and she is a hairstylist from Kokomo, Indiana. I usually like the tattooed girls with crazy hair and I like Lindsey. She’s confident, but doesn’t come off overly so and we both like Jack Daniels. Lindsey seems pretty laid back, but I’m wondering how well she’s going to do with the other ladies in the game, especially if she ends up with some of the Beauties during a tribe switch. Those girls aren’t going to like Lindsey because her confidence is real. I also think Lindsey is going to get along much better with the boys and wouldn’t be surprised if she forms alliances with just men. Not sure why, it’s just the vibe I get. Us guy’s girls always know it when we see each other.

Sarah Lacina is 29 years old and she is a Police Officer from Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I like Sarah too! I do have a problem with authority, I’m a boat-rocker like I said before, but Sarah is cool. She’s from the Midwest and usually us Midwesterners are pretty laid back, so as long as she can leave the badge at home, she’ll probably mesh well with the rest of the Brawn tribe. We’ll just have to see what happens, though, because she says she will destroy this game. Over-confidence is often ones undoing in the game of Survivor and if she’s aiming to destroy, she could come out guns blazing, which isn’t good. In Survivor, your tribe is your alliance until you have to go to Tribal Council. Until you lose an Immunity Challenge, you shouldn’t actively seek alliances – just relationships.

Tony Vlachos is 39 years old and he is a Police Officer from Jersey City, New Jersey. Now, you all just know that Tony and Sarah will be forming an alliance and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s made on day one. If this is what happens, they will need to keep it on the d/l and I’d even suggest they play off that they don’t get along well. I don’t even need to read this guy’s bio, by the way, I can see his personality very clearly in his picture. Tony might show the same “I’m a cop” mentality that most cops do when they are on Survivor, but he also seems pretty laid back as well. As I’m skimming the bio, these vibes are confirmed. Mentions of Boston Rob and Russell Hantz – pretty standard for his type of casting choice – lots of exclamation points; yup, this guy is pretty standard for this type of casting choice.

Trish Hegarty is 48 years old and she is Pilates Trainer from Needham, Massacusetts. She likes Danni Boatwright – In. I’m probably biased because she’s from Kansas, but I love Danni Boatwright. She is super sweet in person so anyone that likes Danni I will probably like them too. From reading her bio, Trish seems like a very “Dawnesque” player, not exactly like her, but I think her game play will be in the style of Dawn. She says she has great intuition; she’s a team player, not a control freak, positive… Yup, sounds like Danni. Trish could do really well, especially if the Brawn team wins lots of challenges. This group seems to be the most cohesive (I really love that word if you haven’t noticed from reading my blogs) of all the tribes.

Yung “Woo” Hwang is 29 years old and he is a Martial Arts Instructor from Newport Beach, California. Yup, definitely think this Brawn tribe is going to get along really well. Tony might have some trouble if he’s one of those hot-headed cops, but if he’s not, I’m going for Brawn to be the tribe that gets along this season. Woo, I guess we’ll be calling him “Woo”, gives me another “nice guy” vibe. He’s in to surfing and you know those dudes are always laid back, man. Woo is an Ozzy fan who says he can adapt to his surroundings; he should do well when the tribes are shuffled, if they are shuffled. I think Woo definitely has a chance at the million dollars and I wouldn’t be surprised if he wins the game. In fact, I think he’s my pick for winner.

And that’s our cast for Survivor: Brains vs. Beauty vs. Brawn. I love that we have all new players this season and I think we’re in for a lot of drama and fun. Once again, Survivor premieres on Wednesday, February 26^th at 8pm eastern, 7pm central. You can read the player’s bios for yourself at http://www.cbs.com/shows/survivor/cast/ There are lots of other goodies at the CBS site so be sure to click on over there after you read all of my King of the Nerds blog posts. Then come back and read the rest as I write them, even if you don’t watch the show; you’ll feel like you have. Thanks!

King of the Nerds: S2E4: Zingbot Ain't Got Nothin' On THIS Guy

This week in Nerdvana… 

Mary Kate has left the building and the nerds perform a clink drink tribute in her honor. Well, not all the nerds… 

Katie admits that the Titans of Rigel have been puppetmastering Midas Touch Attack and hopes that her team can continue to do so. Nicole just hopes that Mary Kate’s exit restores peace in Nerdvana. Huh whaaaaat? Am I watching the same game that you were playing during filming, Nicole? I thought getting rid of Zack was supposed to restore peace in Nerdvana! Was Mary Kate instigating Zack's behavior? Did I miss something?

After a five-fingered version of “I Never”, Curtis calls all nerds to the courtyard, but before he announces how the next Nerd War will go down, he springs a twist on our nerds. The teams are uneven and he and Bobby think they should be balanced so he whips out the ol’ “sorting hat”. ToR will take turns drawing coins from the hat and whoever draws the gold coin will join the gold team.

What happens next makes me believe that if your name is Katie and you have to draw something from a hat and you go first, you have the “Katie Curse”. Survivor Blood vs. Water Katie was rocked out to Redemption Island by drawing first and when King of the Nerds Katie draws first she has to join the island of misfit nerds. At this point, I just have to say… I love twists in reality shows, but this twist – not happy about it. And it’s not just because I love Katie and hated to hear her crying in the bathroom later. To really switch things up and make the game more interesting, everyone should have had to draw coins to shuffle up and even out the teams.

So this week’s Nerd War will be a game of Robot Dodgeball. Great. Of course. Of course this week is the robotics challenge. Of course Katie would be the one to switch teams, she the robotics girl, remember? If I was like some of the people who watch these competition reality shows, I would be screaming “RIGGED” at the screen, but I know better. Allow me to demonstrate my amazing math skills… Katie had a one in four shot, a 25% chance, (see, so impressive my math skills… #sarcasm) of drawing the gold coin. The variable in this situation is Katie’s freedom to shake up the coins in the hat. Even if the gold coin was at the top, there was no guarantee she would choose it. So to anyone out there who thinks it was rigged, I’m sure Curtis and Bobby would assure you that it was a fair draw and that there was only one gold coin in the bag. ::drops mic, walks away:: Oh… ::runs back, pics up mic:: One more thing… C3PO is a droid, not a robot. Only “Star Wars According to a Three Year Old” girl gets to call him a robot because she calls him a “wobot” and also refers to him as the “siney guy” and it’s freaking adorable. After you read this, go YouTube that and watch it; the one with clips from the movie is the best one. ::drops mic again::

In the Robot Dodgeball Nerd War, each team will have 24 hours to build four robots. Of course MTA is thrilled to have Katie on their team and of course ToR is annoyed. Xander is reduced to a glitter fit, though, not nearly one as dramatic as when Gary “Glitter” had to go on slop in the first season of Big Brother Canada. (Season two is just around the corner, by the way – March 5^th). Curtis further explains that the game will be time-based and that the robots will be judged beforehand on creativity and execution. The team that loses the first part of this Nerd War will lose one robot for the second. Everything they need is in the T.A.R.D.I.S. and the teams make haste in retiring to their War Rooms. Well,  Zack makes the best haste he can with his self-proclaimed weak arms pulling a crate full of Radio Shack goodies…

In the Tor Room, the Titans are upset that Katie isn’t with them anymore since this challenge highlights her skills and knowledge. As Chris watches from the sidelines, Xander and Kayla pull together a creative strategy for their robots. Everyone on the team will design a robot inspired by their own personalities as Titans.

This is a good time to bring up the fact that Chris has been flying under the radar ever since Zack became the “villain” of the season. He was in the first Nerd Off, remember? He’s also had the advantage of being on the winning side of the Nerd Wars since then, but even though he’s the ToR team captain, he seems to be more comfortable near the walls. Clearly, Chris is a very intellectual person with a level head on his shoulders and he has a really good shot at winning the Throne, but this is partly a social game too. Having the smartiest pants is only going to carry a nerd so far. When the teams are dissolved, and if Zack is finally exterminated, Chris is going to be the next biggest threat to the other players. He really needs to step up his social game if he wants to avoid Nerd Offs in the future. By not participating in the Mary Kate clink drink at the top of the episode, he has singled himself out as a loner; if the other nerds are ever at a loss of who to nominate, he’ll be an easy target. Maybe he doesn’t drink alcohol, but one does not need booze in a glass to participate in a toast and when you’re in a competition that is based partly on a social game, you always join in on a toast. Always. 

In the MTA War Room, Katie is more in Hell than she is in Heaven. Everyone on the Gold team agrees that Katie should take the lead on this one and her idea is to create a Battlebots inspired robot army and the rest of the team is fine with that and they get to work.

Team captain, Zack is totally focused on the tasks at hand, giving his arms a work out by tossing a dodgeball around the room, knocking stuff off tables and causing general disruption. (General Disruption ::salute::). Maybe this is why Nicole burns her face with a hot glue gun, it’s the simplest explanation. How does one burn ones face with a hot glue gun unless dodgeballs are being haphazardly thrown around a War Room by Zack? I know that’s not the case, but comedy… Jack is super nice about making Katie feel welcome and hopes she doesn’t think her new team is a bunch of losers. Katie feels they are doomed to fail anyway; she’s really the only person who knows what they are doing building these robots so she has to help everyone.

Things are going really well, as per usual, with the Titans of Rigel...

When they are finished building, ToR logs some practice hours with maneuvering their robots and throwing dodgeballs; Chris is their selected target. (Okay, okay, you are a team-player, Chris, not a wall flower. I apologize). Kayla is excited about the opportunity to get all athletic, release some aggression and make some boys cry; she’s the kind of person Brian hated in gym class.

In the MTA camp, Jack is feeling slightly optimistic about his team’s chances of winning the Nerd War, but he has now joined Zack in forming a super tornado of destruction in the War Room. Jack has cut two wires that Katie can’t fix and Zack has sat on her controller. The stress gets to her and she does what most girls do in reality TV when the frustration takes its toll – this is when she goes to the bathroom to have a little cry; she can’t even talk about how upset she is in the Diary Room. (((Katie)))

Before the real battle begins, the robot fleets must first be judged and to help them do that, Curtis and Bobby first bring out Matt Winston, co-founder of the Stan Winston School, the world’s premier school for the arts and sciences of special effects and character creation. Matt is Katie’s idol and she’s stressing now because she’s not proud of what she has produced for her team. In addition to Matt, Curtis and Bobby will also require the assistance of…

NERDBOT!

And by assistance, I mean zinging. Seriously, Big Brother’s Zingbot ain’t got nothing on this guy.

Matt is very impressed with ToR’s functionality, appearance and creativity and is also very impressed with Katie’s re-purposing abilities; she’s well on her way to a career in special effects and she gets a thumbs up from her idol. Her efforts just weren’t enough, though, because ToR is deemed the winner of phase one of the Nerd War and Nerdbot makes quick work of destroying one of their bots. Once the carcass of Jack’s creation has been carried away, it’s time to begin phase two.

In round one of the war, Katie and Nicole play offense against Xander and Brian. Nicole plays roller derby, is super competitive and she promises that she will not lose. Katie is great at dodging, but isn’t confident in her coordination. Nicole’s confidence; however, is warranted as she knock’s Xander’s dragon out of the game and in the same toss, misses Brian’s by only a fraction of a hair. Oh, and Brian… I was going to reply to the picture you posted on Twitter last week, but… why are you wearing a skirt?! From now on, I’m calling you Brianrietta. <wink> 

Round two turns the tables; Katie and Nicole will now play defense while Chris and Kayla arm themselves with dodgeballs for ToR. In order to keep the lead, Katie and Nicole need to stay in the game for longer than a minute and eighteen seconds. Katie is worried because she’s a terrible driver, (noted), and Curtis and Bobby are impressed that Kayla and Chris are going for direct hits on the MTA robots instead of trying a bounce attack. Katie is out first and soon after, Nicole takes a hit giving ToR the lead. 

In round three MTA will again be on offense; Jack and Zack will now throw dodgeballs at Chris and Kayla’s robots. Chris is not at all worried about Zack’s throwing abilities because he has absolutely no upper body strength, but he should have been because not only does he take out Chris’ robot, he quickly dispatches of Kayla’s soon after. Zack’s new found talents have put thirty-three seconds between the teams and in the final round  he will be defending his team alone against Xander and Brianrietta. He doesn’t deal with the pressure very well and the rest of his team does their best to calm him down before it’s go time. If they lose, it’s not his fault. Katie has confidence is his abilities to use the controls, but Zack accidentally steers her robot too close to the raised barrier of the court and it gets stuck. Within seconds of dislodging the robot, and the beginning of the round, the fatal shot is fired. By the end of the episode, the hand of Midas will be back down to three fingers. 

As the winners, ToR will receive up to $1,000 in gear from Radio Shack; NERDGASM! Their gifts are in the T.A.R.D.I.S, and nicely wrapped. Finally! Kayla doesn’t have to share soldering tools with her dad!

While the Titans drool over their new toys, the hand of Midas is lamenting on the challenge. Zack is still beating himself up and Jack is quick to jump in to tell him how proud he is of Zack. He finally admitted humility! This is the first time he's blamed himself, he's growing up!

But Zack isn't blaming himself. Zack thinks Jack's heartfelt praise is B.S.; Zack is a grown-up and Jack had nothing to do with it. Katie is worried she will be the one voted into the nerd off; last in, first out, right? This is her first time being on the losing side so she's pretty nervous despite the gold team's track record of voting in Zack. The Titans of Rigel think the gold team will definitely vote in Zack. While they think Nicole is great, they think Nicole is great. She is a good choice to compete against Zack. Brianrietta explains that even if Nicole loses, a formidable opponent will still leave the game.

Back to the hand, (of Midas), Zack and Nicole are having a discussion. Zack wants to know if she's voting for him then submits an argument in favor of voting Katie into the Nerd Off; she couldn't even do the engineering for "our", which I'm assuming he means himself, Nicole and Jack when he says "our", stuff. Not sound logic, Zack. In your diary room session your reasoning is far more valid. You're right. ToR will never vote Katie into a Nerd Off and if your team really wants to show those purple freaks that Midas Touch Attack is united, Katie needs to compete. (Sorry, Katie, it's true).

In the Throne Room, Curtis reveals the chosen nerds. The Titans have indeed voted for Nicole, and in a shocking turn of events, (#sarcasm), Midas Touch Attack votes in favor of Zack three to one . Et tu Nicole? Et tu? This week's Nerd Off is Zombie Nerdplunk and one of them will not survive the night. For those of you that haven't watched this episode, first of all, why are you not watching King of the Nerds? The Diary Room sessions alone are worth it. Secondly, Zombie Nerdplunk is Kerplunk and if you don't know what game that is, I don't want to talk to you anymore. (Kidding, but really, did your parents not love you? Do you need a hug? I'll give you a hug)

As you can see from the picture, the Nerd Off game will be played just like Kerplunk. The first nerd to drop 150 body parts, and just body parts, not other random garbage, will be the one leaving Nerdvana. Nicole executes a little reverse psychology in an attempt to shake Zack's confidence and it seems to be working for awhile, but foot after brain keeps falling through the poles when Nicole takes her turns. Seriously, were you guys too short to reach those high stakes, or were you not allowed to go after them?! You seem pretty tall for a girl, Nicole, but please tell me you couldn't reach them when the push came to shove and you had only one body part left until you reached 150. Please tell me that. That one body part did fall, though, and Nerdbot finally got to crush a nerd... It was Nicole.

King of the Nerds airs on TBS at 10pm/9pm on Thursdays. You can check out the cast bios and loads of extras at the Official King of the Nerds Webpage. And don't forget to follow our nerds on Twitter! All of their Twitter handles are on their corresponding biography pages on the TBS website. Stay nerdy, my friends!

If you're not following me on Twitter you can @thedolphinpoet. I'm compiling a Top Ten List of things we learned from this season of King of the Nerds and I want YOUR suggestions for what should be on it. Tweet them to me whenever you think of something funny and I might use yours! Oh, by the way for anyone that caught the post for episode three before I edited it: Zack and I cool now. :)

King of the Nerds: S2E3: Nooooooooooooooooooooo!

This week in Nerdvana...

Everyone is sad that Josh is gone, but the Titans of Rigel know that their cold-blooded, psychological offensive is their best defense to keep their team together. Remember that episode of Eureka where everything Zoe’s bracelet touched turned to gold then deteriorated? Yeah, that’s what happening to Midas Touch Attack right now, but it’s not because of a centuries-old alchemist’s formula… It’s Zack. Zack… Zack… Zack… Dude… You are making this blog a lot more difficult to write. I’m trying to go easy on you because I have a soft spot in my heart for my nerdy brethren, but the intensity level of your outbursts, and the conflict surrounding them, are increasing exponentially with each episode. At this rate, if you win the crown, Nerdvana will plunge into tyranny the moment you take the throne! There will not be much rejoicing in the kingdom. Peasants will revolt! Not that you wouldn’t deserve the win because despite your fumbling on the social side of things, you’ve had that game face on since day one. I’m still super impressed with the Paper, Rock, Scissors Jedi Mind Trick you pulled in the first episode. 

When Curtis calls all nerds to the courtyard, our teams learn that the next Nerd War will be a Live Action Role Playing (LARPing) challenge. Since ToR still has five players they have will to sit out one member. Each team will be using four given characters to base their presentations upon; a bard, a monk, a spell singer and a warrior. And here is my first problem with this Nerd War challenge. On one hand, restricting what types of characters the nerds can use gives this year’s LARPing challenge a twist and raises the level of difficultly. This approach also provides the judges with a better comparison system on which to base their final decisions. On the other hand, why limit the imaginations and creativity of the contestants by assigning specific character roles? If they would have done this last year, would we have seen Ivan’s most excellent, fire sword-wielding half-man half-beast? Probably not! What would Xander have done if he could have had total control of his character creation? Have we been denied an even more wonderful example of Cosplay greatness because of this restriction?! Bah! Anyway…

The nerds retire to their War Rooms to create nerdy LARPing awesomeness. On the ToR side of Nerdvana, Kayla is happy to sit out this Nerd War because she is not an Improv chicky, and LARPing is all about Improv. Chris would love to sit out as well because he just doesn’t understand why people are into this aspect of nerd culture, but in the end, it is decided that it would be best for Kayla to be benched. In the land of MTA, role assignment is coming along nicely. Mary Kate says she can sorta sing and resident band geek, Nicole, will provide her with musical accompaniment. Jack is okay with being the monk, but only if he can have swords and Zack wants his warrior to be sword-wielding as well; they are going to stage a fight! Things seem pretty calm and collected…On the surface. I attribute this to the dulcet tones of Nicole’s recorder. 

Bouncing over to the ToR Room, Xander is calling the shots in this Nerd War for the purple team. And I have to put a couple of pennies in the jar at this point in the post because the purple team is proving to be a powerfully proportionate posse. They know how to work together and how to utilize their individual strengths to win these wars. The Titans of Rigel are converting all of the negative energy from chaos they created within the Gold team into a positive charge against them. Speaking of negative energy…

Let’s go back and visit MTA! Everyone wants Zack to be in charge of story since he’s a fantasy writer, but in the War Room Zack is focused on props and Mary Kate is not subtle about wanting him to skedaddle away to do his job. This causes an explosion of epic proportions from Zack, (too bad he couldn’t channel that energy to his team’s volcano last week), but Zack has a point. If his team continues to push him away, they will lose Nerd War after Nerd War until Zack is the only finger left on Midas’ hand. (It’s a middle finger, by the way).

After a product placement sequence for Little Caesar’s Pizza, and a very awkward lunch for MTA, Nicole decides it’s time to have a little chat with Zack, who apparently has stopped working on the writing and doesn’t want to be taken advantage of by the rest of his team if he starts back up again. Nicole fluffs his ego a bit, gives him something yellow that I assume is candy, offers Zack a hug and the surface is calm once again. Forced tranquility carries over into the next day, but Jack laments that his team is like the Wizard of Oz – Mary Kate has no tolerance, Zack has no humility and Nicole has no confidence, which I guess makes Jack the Scarecrow because Mary Kate just has to be my Dorothy, because I live in Kansas, and because and I love her and because we should be best friends. Many drinks would be clinked and we would cause so many nerd boners at BronyCon…

When it’s time for the Nerd War, the contestants meet the judges: Hercules himself, Kevin Sorbo, Cosplay Queen, Yaya Han (in her second King of the Nerds appearance) and THE super nerd, Napoleon Dynamite, Jon Heder. Midas Touch Attack will go first and Jack reveals that he is as dedicated to the craft of acting as Natalie Portman is; he has shaved his head for his role as the Monk. Nicole introduces their presentation and announces that in the true spirit of LARPing, their team will be improvising their performance and after Jack works through his issues with Zack via improvised swordplay, ToR takes the stage.

Clearly, having Xander on the team has proved to be more advantageous than I predicted because the whole team is wearing FANTASTIC make-up, (see photo below & "fantastic make-up" should be read in the voice of Eddie Izzard), the whole thing is choreographed, Katie made a marionette and a costume change?! ToR definitely deserved to win this war; MTA did a fine job, but that make-up! It was amazing, Xander! Great job! But here’s my second problem with this Nerd War Challenge: I want to see the unedited, extended versions of these performances! That’s it. I just want to see more of the glorious, nerdy LARPing action.*

So ToR is victorious again and their reward in addition to keeping their team intact is a trip to Pirate’s Dinner Adventure, which is like Medieval Times, but with pirates, where they will dine, enjoy the show and swashbuckle with the scoundrels. Back at Nerdvana, MTA is chillaxing until Zack opens the group up to conversation about the upcoming Nerd Off and whom the team will be voting into the challenge. Mary Kate is confused because Zack told them all he would continue to vote himself into the Nerd Offs so that he could pick them off one-by-one. His tune has changed now, though, and he’ll only vote himself in if it’s unavoidable.

What happens next isn’t an all out explosion, but the malfunctioning synapses in Zack’s brain, the ones that are used to judge social situations and control what words come out of his mouth, cause his psyche to rev into defense mode to save his ego. Everyone else wants to have a mature, rational conversation, but the gravity of the situation is just too much for Zack to handle. There’s just too much pressure and it causes him to crumble. Instead of trying to talk it out with his team, he says anything and everything he can to build himself a pedestal on which to stand. He’s in the fourth dimension, all of space and time is unfolding in his mind, everyone else is the problem, and his team mates are idiots. Mary Kate doesn’t even know what gravity is! He will decimate them all! Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! His is an evil laugh!

 

The next day, Mary Kate is "regaling" the tale of the previous encounter to some of the  ToR team members; everyone at the table agrees that gravity is not so easily definable, then Zack appears down the hall, walking towards the dining area. Mary Kate notices him and quickly changes the topic of the debate to what kind of potatoes they have been served. Later, ToR discusses who they should put in the Nerd Off against Zack to ensure that he stays in the game. Kayla would rather win “nerd-on-nerd” instead of using Zack as a weapon, which is admirable, but... I don’t know if you’re a Survivor or Big Brother fan, Kayla, but very rarely in these reality competition shows do admirable choices lead to great rewards and you have to play the hand your dealt. Keeping Zack around is a good strategy for the Titans, for now, but they will want to get rid of him soon or they are going to have to deal with his antics more directly.

Of course, Zack is voted in by his team to participate in the Nerd Off, and he did vote for himself. Mary Kate is chosen by the Titans to go to battle and this Nerd Off will be a game of Battle Hammer, a more complicated and intense version of Battleship. Each participant is able to choose an adviser to help them. Mary Kate chooses Jack because he’s good with probability. No one wants to play with Zack, though, not even ToR and after awhile, the synapses in Zack’s brain finally begin to function and he humbly approaches the inhabitants of Nerdvana to apologize and plead his case. This genuine flow of emotions from Zack invites the rest of the competitors to question how they’ve been treating Zack and the establishment of the Anti-Hero of King of the Nerds season two is complete, for me anyway. After he asks, Chris agrees to be Zack’s advisor.

In the Nerd Off; however, Zack does not utilize the help of Chris and Mary Kate and Jack are working together very well, but Mary Kate has a curse... <sigh>... She has the worst luck with rolling dice... I didn't believe her at first, but in that last few moves of the game, the curse kicked in and Zack prevailed in the Nerd Off once again. Oh, Mary Kate, were you not allowed to let Jack roll for you? Why couldn't you let Jack roll for you?! Nerdvana won't be the same without my second favorite female Time Lord. Doctor Donna is my first favorite. ;)

King of the Nerds airs on TBS at 10pm/9pm on Thursdays. You can check out the cast bios and loads of extras at the Official King of the Nerds Webpage. And don't forget to follow our nerds on Twitter! All of their Twitter handles are on their corresponding biography pages on the TBS website. Stay nerdy, my friends!

*UPDATE: Brian from ToR provided me with a great write-up about the Titan's Nerd War performance. Check it out! Brian's ToR LARP Details 
*UPDATE2: Zack from MTA has also provided a great write-up about the Midas Touch Attack Nerd War performance. Check it out! Zack's MTA LARP Details

King of the Nerds: S2E2: One Chemist, Two Chemists, Red Chemist, Blue Chemist

Well, well, well, King of the Nerds season two cast members. Aren’t you all an entertaining bunch! Conflict, drama, back-stabbing, tequila shots and this is only the second episode.

Let’s get right into the action, shall we? Curtis calls all nerds to the courtyard and announces that in the second Nerd War they will be recreating the classic grade school science fair project, the erupting volcano. Each team must construct a volcano and make a presentation in front of three guest judges that will choose the winner based on the accuracy of the science, the chemical reaction and creativity of the presentation. Everything they need is in the “Radio Shack Room”, which shall henceforth be referred to as the T.A.R.D.I.S. in this blog, because – Doctor Who.

So the teams grab their plastic crates of supplies from the T.A.R.D.I.S and retire to their separate War Rooms to plan their science fair strategies. Midas Touch Attack is in a tizzy because they are worried about the chemical aspect of the challenge; Jack is the only chemist they have! Oh no! Whatever will they do? Zack wastes no time in demonstrating the definition of irony in a spur of the moment attempt to squash the doubt forming in the minds of his teammates about the Nerd War. He quickly throws Nicole under the bus, exposing to the rest of MTA that she is also a chemist. This ignites a flame of new doubt, and suspicion, in Jack, the other chemist on the Gold team because, duh, Zack, you and Nicole were keeping a secret and you just told everyone about it! Strike number one, Zack. Strike number one.

Over in the Titans of Rigel War Room, they have come up with the idea to use the super volcano in Yellowstone National Park as the inspiration for their project. To present their ideas, they will pose as future folk that have traveled back in time to warn and educate people in the past about the explosion and destruction. A little drama pops up; however, when Katie and Kayla disagree on what part of the challenge to focus on: science, chemical reaction or theatrics? Weren’t both equally important? You’ve got a well-rounded team, ladies, don’t sweat the small stuff because I think those boys are going to stick together if you have to go to another Nerd Off.

Back in the MTA war room, they decide to model their volcano after Mt. Doom (of Mordor) and will use a ring to create the chemical reaction to erupt it. Such nerdy brilliance, that is! Once the idea is proposed, Nicole literally drops to her knees in delight; her mood is out of the red now and she’s able to … blow off some steam … instead of freak out about keeping her background a secret. We also learn that Josh is more than just a Pokemon Master; he must be channeling Matt Kennedy Gould.*

When it’s time for the Nerd War, the contestants are introduced to their judges: One Mr. Bill Nye the Science Guy is the first judge to take a seat in front of the teams. Talk about a nerdgasm! These kids all shared a very intimate experience that day. Next to join the panel is some 19 year old kid who won some super important science award – just kidding, that’s an inside joke for those of you that have watched the episode, his name is Blake Marggraff and he won the 2011 Intel International Science and Engineering Fair. The final guest judge is Big Bang Theory, (and Blossom, remember Blossom?), actress Mayim Bialik, who really does have a PhD in Neuroscience.

TOR are first to present their project to the panel and their theatrical flair makes a real impression upon Curtis, though some of their facts are questioned by the judges. MTA chose a more scientific look for their presentation, but Frodo-Jack trips on his way to throw the ring into Mt. Doom and their chemical reaction goes up in smoke. As the votes are tallied, the score is, of course, tied and the fate of the nerds is in the hands of the Science Guy. I don’t remember a unanimous Nerd War win in season one and I doubt we’ll see one this season. Bill Nye has a special place in his heart for the super volcano, though, and the Titans take home the win; the hand of Midas will lose a finger this week.  

And now for my favorite moment of this episode! After the Nerd War, the Titans are off to celebrate their victory; not only have they secured their team’s safety, but they also won the opportunity to hang out with Bill Nye for bit. Meanwhile, in Nerdvana, the Gold team is left to their own devices – and the Nerdvana liquor cabinet! Taking advantage of the open bar, Mary Kate invites Zack to do a shot with her, the tequila goes straight to Zack’s head and they begin a little strategy talk. Zack thinks that because he’s wearing blue he will project an image of tranquility and he throws Nicole under the bus again! Apparently, Nicole has been talking about Mary Kate as a target. <eye roll> Nice try, Zack, but Mary Kate isn’t buying your snake oil, sir! In fact, MK is more impressed that it only took one shot to lubricate your lips… That sounds dirty, but I’m leaving it in…Damnit…Now I can’t stop with the innuendos so it’s time for a new paragraph.

Before the Nerd Off, the nominees are voted upon and announced; Zack receives four votes from his own team, which breaks down his blue shirt offensive. Before his opponent is even revealed, Zack spouts off about how his team has sealed their own fate or some such nonsense. TOR votes for Josh to join Zack in the Nerd Off, which prompts Zack to spout off again about how he has memorized more Pokemon than Josh, or some such nonsense. (Strike number two, Zack. Strike number two). After both are asked to bend a knee, Curtis and Bobby explain that to stay in the game, Zack and Josh will be performing an Alien Autopsy and are given the chance to study both human and “alien” anatomy before the challenge. Not before Zack engages the Gold team in what will go down as one of the most awkward hugs in reality TV history, though.

Josh correctly ascertains how the challenge will work and with the help of the remaining three members of his team begins a process of assigning mnemonic devices to the alien and human body parts in his study guide. MTA’s Xander is the only nerd willing to help Zack, though, and actually has some medical credits under his belt to qualify him for this task. Xander’s motives are not pure; however, because TOR would love Zack to stick around and create more chaos and unrest within the Gold team. And chaos and unrest is exactly what the Gold team will be dealing with next week. Zack’s photographic memory prevailed over Josh’s smart study methods to win the Nerd Off, squashing Josh’s dreams of sitting upon the Throne of Games.

King of the Nerds airs on TBS at 10pm/9pm on Thursdays. You can check out the cast bios and loads of extras at the Official King of the Nerds Webpage. And don't forget to follow our nerds on Twitter! All of their Twitter handles are on their corresponding biography pages on the TBS website. And don't forget about the next season of Survivor! The cast has been announced and you can read all about our Brains, Beauties and Brawns at CBS.com. There are videos too! Until next time, stay nerdy, my friends.

*Matt Kennedy Gould is schmo/star of the first season of The Joe Schmo Show. One of the challenges in his game was a talent show, judged by Jerri “the Bitch from Survivor” Manthey, in which he displayed his talent for beatboxing.